haha. you're probablying going ~yikes~ at the title. its a song by all american rejects. its nice. i like ~natural disaster~ by the plain white T's too.
this week has been hectic. study study study. exam exam. more papers. more masks. more tissues. more haze. terrible weather we have.
i'm so happy. i'm so happy. and only some people will know. gosh. hehe. i cant believe it. lol. hahahhahaha.
anyways, my teachers are extra paranoid now that my school has two confirmed H1N1 patients and yet my school isnt closing. how perfectly wonderful. we should sue him if it touches any of my friends.
i think i'm really gonna pick up learning the guitar after PMR. i know lotsa people say that. but i really want to. when i see people play the guitar, i feel so inspired and jealous. i wanna play too. ahhahahaha.
anyways, gtg. busy week.
got mich's bday and youth. me, max and jamie made a vid for this weeks announcements. was tiring man. hahha. all of ya'll who come to my church please be there on the 8th of August! THE VID IS AWESOME!
haha, hehe, sigh,
Joyce
Showing posts with label thoughts and rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts and rants. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Catch me if you can...........
have been having quite a number of bad days. family matters intruding my every brain cell.
sorry if i havent been around. been pretty busy and away.
sorry if i caused any amount of trouble for ya'll.
been pretty insulting due to my bad moods. sorry stephen!
hmm. i miss him alot and there's nothing i can do. haha. cliche i know.
I love you grandma! YOU'RE THE BEST GMA IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
loving, praising, missing, crying and apologising,
joyce
sorry if i havent been around. been pretty busy and away.
sorry if i caused any amount of trouble for ya'll.
been pretty insulting due to my bad moods. sorry stephen!
hmm. i miss him alot and there's nothing i can do. haha. cliche i know.
I love you grandma! YOU'RE THE BEST GMA IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
loving, praising, missing, crying and apologising,
joyce
Monday, June 29, 2009
listening to an angel's voice.
listening to lia's voice while typing this. she has a really nice voice. hmm. makes me wanna learn the guitar even more.
hey monday candles.
her songs. handwritten. memory filled. heartfelt songs.
love. its contagious and heartwrenching.
yet we all go looking for it.
weird.
missing him since didnt see him last week.
argh.
joyce
hey monday candles.
her songs. handwritten. memory filled. heartfelt songs.
love. its contagious and heartwrenching.
yet we all go looking for it.
weird.
missing him since didnt see him last week.
argh.
joyce
Saturday, June 20, 2009
oopsies! hehe!
sorry! have been going around crazy with homework and projects and teachers extra favours that i've been negleccting my blog. hehe.
okay. so here's what i've been up to.
hmm. lets see. the 2nd week of hols i had class. so it was kinda sad but fun. we all sat in our preferred groups and made as much fun outta the new teachers and laughed loudly with not a care for them. hehe. i know it sounds mean but when you do it, you'll know how much fun and joy it brings. haha! found out my long time friend likes me which made go all WHAT??? SERIOUS????. haha. if you know me then you know la what my face looked like. so yeah. turns out everytime he claims he wants to borrow my pens or whatever is just so he can see me. now i'm like erm..... what should i do????. and then the one of the day in extra class he got put beside me in class for like an hour and i well.... kinda ignored him entirely. people claim he tried talking to me but i seriously did not hear a squeak outta him. i'm speaking the truth! i wasnt being mean i just didnt hear him!
i went to youth on saturday. 13th of june. Vincent Lai. my cousin. i think. hehe. relative la! haha. He gave a sermon. He talked about having long term and stable relationships. not the dating relationships but friendships that last. it was both interesting and funny. he kept asking whether we were okay, and everytime he did, all of us just said yes! and giggled. he was blushing constantly! hahaha!
IU DAY! haha! it was fun. although the heat was almost unbearable, it was just something on the side. the atmosphere was totally filled with laughter and joy! the performances were okay la! hahaha! although there were some eyecandy! hahahah! i think both boys and girls were like on check-that-out mode. was quite happy. meeting new people and stuff like that. i like meeting new people! ahhaha! although alotta people call me shy at times. hehe. i admit. sometimes. hehe.
hmm. oh yeah. my dad's 50th bday party! am so proud of him. i think the older generation can really throw awesome parties! not that their old. i mean. i think its because their all the same par that they mix so well and their inner child comes out and i've gotta say this, i really prefer the older generation parties than my own age. i think its because their all comfortable in their own skin, they all can sing really well, and they know all the right moves on the dance floor! i was like wow! aunty juliet can shake her hips like shakira! she's sixty! hahahaha! and uncle walter nair, uncle tony and uncle ganesh can really sing! they belted out tunes that were almost like the originals bands way back when i listened to the casettes! the songs may have been oldies but i loved the songs! there was this auntie from hijauan bengkoka corp. that my dad knew way back when they were kids and she sang this super-flirty happy birthday song! the lyrics were like: i know i'm not your girl anymore but i do wish you a very very happy birthday! my mom was like laughing soooo hard. i didnt know whether she was doing sarcasm or she was being territorial! hahaha! me, nikki and sister char sang a few songs too! ahhaa! my dad's party was a hit! his friends were asking for another party the day after! hahaha! something bout karaoke, the dance floor and a bar makes everyone happy and high! hahahahha!
so now, everyone's back to normal school mode and its all studies now. hmm.
i was reading chicken soup for the soul teenage IV. read a poem. and it felt like my situation right there and then. may post in up.
i'm missing my grandparents. i really wanna go back to kl and see them.
Saturday 20th June. woke up at 7. went to school at 8 till 12. then went to tuition 3-5. came home to shower and change for youth. had a blast. i love going to church and praising the Lord. Met Edrea's eldest brother Evan. their all giants. haha. tall.
thats all for now. might post some pics in facebook. later.
i'd never go against the wind,
joyce
okay. so here's what i've been up to.
hmm. lets see. the 2nd week of hols i had class. so it was kinda sad but fun. we all sat in our preferred groups and made as much fun outta the new teachers and laughed loudly with not a care for them. hehe. i know it sounds mean but when you do it, you'll know how much fun and joy it brings. haha! found out my long time friend likes me which made go all WHAT??? SERIOUS????. haha. if you know me then you know la what my face looked like. so yeah. turns out everytime he claims he wants to borrow my pens or whatever is just so he can see me. now i'm like erm..... what should i do????. and then the one of the day in extra class he got put beside me in class for like an hour and i well.... kinda ignored him entirely. people claim he tried talking to me but i seriously did not hear a squeak outta him. i'm speaking the truth! i wasnt being mean i just didnt hear him!
i went to youth on saturday. 13th of june. Vincent Lai. my cousin. i think. hehe. relative la! haha. He gave a sermon. He talked about having long term and stable relationships. not the dating relationships but friendships that last. it was both interesting and funny. he kept asking whether we were okay, and everytime he did, all of us just said yes! and giggled. he was blushing constantly! hahaha!
IU DAY! haha! it was fun. although the heat was almost unbearable, it was just something on the side. the atmosphere was totally filled with laughter and joy! the performances were okay la! hahaha! although there were some eyecandy! hahahah! i think both boys and girls were like on check-that-out mode. was quite happy. meeting new people and stuff like that. i like meeting new people! ahhaha! although alotta people call me shy at times. hehe. i admit. sometimes. hehe.
hmm. oh yeah. my dad's 50th bday party! am so proud of him. i think the older generation can really throw awesome parties! not that their old. i mean. i think its because their all the same par that they mix so well and their inner child comes out and i've gotta say this, i really prefer the older generation parties than my own age. i think its because their all comfortable in their own skin, they all can sing really well, and they know all the right moves on the dance floor! i was like wow! aunty juliet can shake her hips like shakira! she's sixty! hahahaha! and uncle walter nair, uncle tony and uncle ganesh can really sing! they belted out tunes that were almost like the originals bands way back when i listened to the casettes! the songs may have been oldies but i loved the songs! there was this auntie from hijauan bengkoka corp. that my dad knew way back when they were kids and she sang this super-flirty happy birthday song! the lyrics were like: i know i'm not your girl anymore but i do wish you a very very happy birthday! my mom was like laughing soooo hard. i didnt know whether she was doing sarcasm or she was being territorial! hahaha! me, nikki and sister char sang a few songs too! ahhaa! my dad's party was a hit! his friends were asking for another party the day after! hahaha! something bout karaoke, the dance floor and a bar makes everyone happy and high! hahahahha!
so now, everyone's back to normal school mode and its all studies now. hmm.
i was reading chicken soup for the soul teenage IV. read a poem. and it felt like my situation right there and then. may post in up.
i'm missing my grandparents. i really wanna go back to kl and see them.
Saturday 20th June. woke up at 7. went to school at 8 till 12. then went to tuition 3-5. came home to shower and change for youth. had a blast. i love going to church and praising the Lord. Met Edrea's eldest brother Evan. their all giants. haha. tall.
thats all for now. might post some pics in facebook. later.
i'd never go against the wind,
joyce
Monday, June 1, 2009
my first two days of freedom trip
I woke up on friday 29th of May. My dad woke me up at around 8.30. got packing.
The only way to explain where i was going to you people is this. Sabah has two horns one called kudat and the other called pitas. i went to pitas. thats where my dad works. the ride is about four and a half hours.
i love going on road trips. you get to see how the terrain of the land changes from smooth roads of the city to slightly bumpy countryside to the holes and bumps of the jungle. i love the four wheel drive experieces i get with my dad. its awesome! haha! it should have been raining cause thats when the real fun starts but this time the land was dry as a bone!
so anyway, arrived there to find workers just staring at you and when you look at them they just stare back. way freaky. so then, me, my dad and sister share a room. and there was uncle tony and uncle ah leong. the three big bosses. or rather. the three musketeers. haha. you want the math equation? Two neat freaks and one crazy messy person. you get three good and mad scientist/cooks. haha!
we went for this boat ride which i was freaked out about. when you sit in the boat, and if you stick you hand out of the boat, the water is just inches away. i was like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! but my sister was like so cool about. i was like when did we switch roles?
the funniest part was half way against the current going out to sea, the boat man suddenly slowed down and my heart went from normal to racing again, the boat man said in malay: oi you hunter in front, you damn heavy la, you're sinking the boat!
I WAS LIKE OH SHIATSU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! both me and my sister were wide eyed and start giggling. and then we sent the hunters off to the jungle. and according to my dad, less than a minute after we dropped them. they shot a wild boar.that part will come later. so me and my sister tried to take a pic of the boat man but he kept looking away and due to that fact the boat also followed him and kept bending towards the wrong way. so we stopped to save ourselves. haha. we saw the most beautiful sights ever. i mean. i finally understand why my dad and uncle tony were so immensely in love with this place. the swamps are so beautiful. definitely picturesque. lush green trees, cool calm waters. was mesmerized.
the boat guy probably wasnt any older than i was. haha. but he's a pro man. his father is the village crab man. he's also my dad's personal boat man. haha. i guess being a boat man runs in their blood. he got us some crabs. i learnt how to kill em. hehe. there was this one crab who was HUGE? spreading his claws apart and their as big and long as my shoulders. i was like woah..... and he was mean. he crushed another crab's claw to pieces. pieces. and snapped it off while the poor guy was alive. and one crab was smart enough to jumpship while we were killig his friends. we had venison steak for dinner. we got the venison from kepala besi from kota marudu. his nick name is kepala besi or tit tau ahah. he's like the big brother of kota marudu. hehe. it was super nice.
at nine thirty or so, the wild boar they shot finally arrived. and my dad was like complaining why they took so long. it was cause they had to build a rakit to get it over. the boar was a size of a cow. okay. for those of you who have a fortuner or a frontier or any working car. the length of your car is the length of the boar. huge. and four workers were carrying it like they were carrying a car. even the car was slow because of the boar. haha.
so the next morning, we saw the boat race. two categories only for he harvest festival. 15cc small boats and 5cc small boats. i know these may seem like peas. but it was something different. i mean you bring a city kid, like a total city kid into the jungle and he'd probably wouldn't survive like us. my boat driver won and the names of their boats were so cool: there were spiderman, levi's, loudness, rising sun, bumblebee, primas, bmw, and so many more. and you know what i love about villagers and workers. they may not know you but they'll smile and talk to you. city people are so much more different thatn them. i really enjoyed the trip.
a few hours later, we packed and were ready to leave. and i felt a lil reluctant to leave. the place might be a bit old and rusty. but the place was simple, cosy and had one of those beautiful sights. one of the workers said i bet you've never experienced something like this? seeing a wild boar being roasted and shot right in front of you? i said no. and then he spoke the truth and said something i'll remember forever. sometimes being a city kid isnt fun, the kampung boys might not have fancy homes, cars and gadgets but they have fresh air, small boats and the raging sea to play with. nature is their playground. the guy might have been drunk but what he told me was evidently true. the nature was once everyone's playground but now only to a minority of people.
four and a half hours later, i arrived home. cleared my laundry. had some food and fell asleep. my bed never felt so good. i now cherish my endless supply of clean water to drink and wash from. i cherish my dad's cars. my mom's money. my family's talent.
the trip might have been only two days. but i think it definitely changed my perspective on life.
my dad said Leon my cousin would have had a kick outta this trip. i agreed. maybe we'll go back there with him before the camp closes one day.
nature within my palm,
joyce
The only way to explain where i was going to you people is this. Sabah has two horns one called kudat and the other called pitas. i went to pitas. thats where my dad works. the ride is about four and a half hours.
i love going on road trips. you get to see how the terrain of the land changes from smooth roads of the city to slightly bumpy countryside to the holes and bumps of the jungle. i love the four wheel drive experieces i get with my dad. its awesome! haha! it should have been raining cause thats when the real fun starts but this time the land was dry as a bone!
so anyway, arrived there to find workers just staring at you and when you look at them they just stare back. way freaky. so then, me, my dad and sister share a room. and there was uncle tony and uncle ah leong. the three big bosses. or rather. the three musketeers. haha. you want the math equation? Two neat freaks and one crazy messy person. you get three good and mad scientist/cooks. haha!
we went for this boat ride which i was freaked out about. when you sit in the boat, and if you stick you hand out of the boat, the water is just inches away. i was like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! but my sister was like so cool about. i was like when did we switch roles?
the funniest part was half way against the current going out to sea, the boat man suddenly slowed down and my heart went from normal to racing again, the boat man said in malay: oi you hunter in front, you damn heavy la, you're sinking the boat!
I WAS LIKE OH SHIATSU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! both me and my sister were wide eyed and start giggling. and then we sent the hunters off to the jungle. and according to my dad, less than a minute after we dropped them. they shot a wild boar.that part will come later. so me and my sister tried to take a pic of the boat man but he kept looking away and due to that fact the boat also followed him and kept bending towards the wrong way. so we stopped to save ourselves. haha. we saw the most beautiful sights ever. i mean. i finally understand why my dad and uncle tony were so immensely in love with this place. the swamps are so beautiful. definitely picturesque. lush green trees, cool calm waters. was mesmerized.
the boat guy probably wasnt any older than i was. haha. but he's a pro man. his father is the village crab man. he's also my dad's personal boat man. haha. i guess being a boat man runs in their blood. he got us some crabs. i learnt how to kill em. hehe. there was this one crab who was HUGE? spreading his claws apart and their as big and long as my shoulders. i was like woah..... and he was mean. he crushed another crab's claw to pieces. pieces. and snapped it off while the poor guy was alive. and one crab was smart enough to jumpship while we were killig his friends. we had venison steak for dinner. we got the venison from kepala besi from kota marudu. his nick name is kepala besi or tit tau ahah. he's like the big brother of kota marudu. hehe. it was super nice.
at nine thirty or so, the wild boar they shot finally arrived. and my dad was like complaining why they took so long. it was cause they had to build a rakit to get it over. the boar was a size of a cow. okay. for those of you who have a fortuner or a frontier or any working car. the length of your car is the length of the boar. huge. and four workers were carrying it like they were carrying a car. even the car was slow because of the boar. haha.
so the next morning, we saw the boat race. two categories only for he harvest festival. 15cc small boats and 5cc small boats. i know these may seem like peas. but it was something different. i mean you bring a city kid, like a total city kid into the jungle and he'd probably wouldn't survive like us. my boat driver won and the names of their boats were so cool: there were spiderman, levi's, loudness, rising sun, bumblebee, primas, bmw, and so many more. and you know what i love about villagers and workers. they may not know you but they'll smile and talk to you. city people are so much more different thatn them. i really enjoyed the trip.
a few hours later, we packed and were ready to leave. and i felt a lil reluctant to leave. the place might be a bit old and rusty. but the place was simple, cosy and had one of those beautiful sights. one of the workers said i bet you've never experienced something like this? seeing a wild boar being roasted and shot right in front of you? i said no. and then he spoke the truth and said something i'll remember forever. sometimes being a city kid isnt fun, the kampung boys might not have fancy homes, cars and gadgets but they have fresh air, small boats and the raging sea to play with. nature is their playground. the guy might have been drunk but what he told me was evidently true. the nature was once everyone's playground but now only to a minority of people.
four and a half hours later, i arrived home. cleared my laundry. had some food and fell asleep. my bed never felt so good. i now cherish my endless supply of clean water to drink and wash from. i cherish my dad's cars. my mom's money. my family's talent.
the trip might have been only two days. but i think it definitely changed my perspective on life.
my dad said Leon my cousin would have had a kick outta this trip. i agreed. maybe we'll go back there with him before the camp closes one day.
nature within my palm,
joyce
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! for now. hehe.
I got my results today. i'm happy. though could have been better but whadahell.
been thinking alot about my situation lately. hmm. maybe i should tweak a few things about my life. like my relationship with god. how i talk to my friends and my family. my sisters in particular. maybe i should try to be a lil more soft and quiet. think it'll work?
i need new shoes. and a new phone. my current phone? terrible. its given up on me. not entirely. but its starting to! i need new shoes cause the one i have now are starting to discolor and its freaking me out!
my plans on studying in australia might be coming true! hahaha! am so happy! My dad is thinking about it! in fact, he's been talking about quite often now! my fingers are crossed and i'm praying hard about it too!
been thinking about him lately but you know what? maybe i'm not ready yet. i think i need to prioritize and i dont think boys are first on my list. its gonna be me, God, studies, and then boys. sound good? agreed? okay.
next motion, i've been thinking lately that i really wanna be a doctor. not a dentist. i dont think being a dentist will keep me sane. in fact, i think it'll drive me over the edge. can you imagine seeing the insides of someone mouth everyday? crap. thats insane. Doctors on the other hand do everything from the brain to your toes. i think i'll specialize in either the heart or just specialize in being a general specialist. hehe. i've done research. haha!
i miss IAN PANG!!!!!!!!!!! my teddy bear! he's in aussie. sigh. that chubby thing. hmm.
in fact, both me and yiing really do miss him. he's like the medium between both of us. makes us happy and smiley and crazy. he's like the line between ying and yang which is me and yiing. ahaha!
i havent called my grandparents lately. hmm. might call em later. today duan wu jie which means rice dumpling day. my mom used to make those when she wasnt working. she used to make special ones for me! just beans, sausages and mushrooms! i dont want the eggs or oysters! ahhaha! now, she just buys them. and sincerely, their nothing compared to my moms. i guess thats why i miss the times when she was just a housewife and not a businesswoman. hmm. because of her cooking and her way of making the house feel at clean, lovely and homey. hmm.
now that i have nearly ten days of freedom. i'm going to split it into a few ways. One, study. Two, sleep. Three, run with my dog. Four, go out with friends. Five, study. Six, help mom. Fair enough? hahah.
i think whats most important is that i start sharing more and more of my life with HIM. i think i've been neglecting Him alot. Not praying. Not reading the bible. The only time i do spend time with him is when i go to Youth. and thats only abt three hours. Three hours in one week? thats less than my studying. crap. so now. I'm going to start spending at least half and hour with Him. reading the bible. doing ODJ. praying. i think its going to help me in life and spiritually? right?
hmm. desperate times call for desperate measures. hehe.
you think i dont know.
how wrong could you be,
joyce
been thinking alot about my situation lately. hmm. maybe i should tweak a few things about my life. like my relationship with god. how i talk to my friends and my family. my sisters in particular. maybe i should try to be a lil more soft and quiet. think it'll work?
i need new shoes. and a new phone. my current phone? terrible. its given up on me. not entirely. but its starting to! i need new shoes cause the one i have now are starting to discolor and its freaking me out!
my plans on studying in australia might be coming true! hahaha! am so happy! My dad is thinking about it! in fact, he's been talking about quite often now! my fingers are crossed and i'm praying hard about it too!
been thinking about him lately but you know what? maybe i'm not ready yet. i think i need to prioritize and i dont think boys are first on my list. its gonna be me, God, studies, and then boys. sound good? agreed? okay.
next motion, i've been thinking lately that i really wanna be a doctor. not a dentist. i dont think being a dentist will keep me sane. in fact, i think it'll drive me over the edge. can you imagine seeing the insides of someone mouth everyday? crap. thats insane. Doctors on the other hand do everything from the brain to your toes. i think i'll specialize in either the heart or just specialize in being a general specialist. hehe. i've done research. haha!
i miss IAN PANG!!!!!!!!!!! my teddy bear! he's in aussie. sigh. that chubby thing. hmm.
in fact, both me and yiing really do miss him. he's like the medium between both of us. makes us happy and smiley and crazy. he's like the line between ying and yang which is me and yiing. ahaha!
i havent called my grandparents lately. hmm. might call em later. today duan wu jie which means rice dumpling day. my mom used to make those when she wasnt working. she used to make special ones for me! just beans, sausages and mushrooms! i dont want the eggs or oysters! ahhaha! now, she just buys them. and sincerely, their nothing compared to my moms. i guess thats why i miss the times when she was just a housewife and not a businesswoman. hmm. because of her cooking and her way of making the house feel at clean, lovely and homey. hmm.
now that i have nearly ten days of freedom. i'm going to split it into a few ways. One, study. Two, sleep. Three, run with my dog. Four, go out with friends. Five, study. Six, help mom. Fair enough? hahah.
i think whats most important is that i start sharing more and more of my life with HIM. i think i've been neglecting Him alot. Not praying. Not reading the bible. The only time i do spend time with him is when i go to Youth. and thats only abt three hours. Three hours in one week? thats less than my studying. crap. so now. I'm going to start spending at least half and hour with Him. reading the bible. doing ODJ. praying. i think its going to help me in life and spiritually? right?
hmm. desperate times call for desperate measures. hehe.
you think i dont know.
how wrong could you be,
joyce
Thursday, May 21, 2009
i'm so toast. so toast.
My exam results. are so. terrible. terrible.
out of seven subjects. i get. Three. Three. 3. tiga. A's. thats. total. crap.
my so called holiday. is so over.
sigh. sigh.
well, i'm happy.
Kris Allen won!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!
oh. and i realized. i think. i'm his total opposite. you think its possible for us?
hehe. oops. sorry lia for the rub in. sorry.
AI fan. hehe,
joyce
out of seven subjects. i get. Three. Three. 3. tiga. A's. thats. total. crap.
my so called holiday. is so over.
sigh. sigh.
well, i'm happy.
Kris Allen won!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!
oh. and i realized. i think. i'm his total opposite. you think its possible for us?
hehe. oops. sorry lia for the rub in. sorry.
AI fan. hehe,
joyce
Sunday, May 10, 2009
the awful truth....
EXAMS OVER~~~~~~
you know the saying, the truth will set you free or honesty is the best policy?
sometimes they may come in handy, in others times, their just pure crap.
when i was younger i was probably the worst sister ever. i was a spy. a tattertale. a creep. a wannabe. a fake. a whiny lil bitch.
really. thats the truth.
so, now. i've changed into a original, weirdo, loud, confident, conspirating, and unconventional sister.
the tables have turned.
now, its my turn to pay the price. my sisters excluding charlotte. are awful. AWFUL.
for those who are reading. and going. i dont believe what she's saying. i'm sorry. but i just cant seem to hold it in anymore.
my sisters are the most self centered, self righteous, self praised, irresponsible, ungrateful, inconsiderate and unmoraled people i have ever known. and although they may be related to me by blood. i would rather die than to be related to them in truth.
and no. i'm never ever ever gonna take this back.
and you know what you've done. you made a dent in my life. that permanent damage. the damage you've done will never heal. and because of it, i'm paying but i wont let you make me suffer. you hurt me, i'll hurt you back. that's just the law of the universe.
so my beloved sibling, you really wanna continue with your act of 'pure and clean'? and put me in the darkness? by all means, pick your poison. revenge runs in our blood. as they say, young ones are mad and they learn fast. old dogs cant learn new tricks. young ones can.
bring it on, sister. BRING IT ON.
killing you softly with my love....
joyce
you know the saying, the truth will set you free or honesty is the best policy?
sometimes they may come in handy, in others times, their just pure crap.
when i was younger i was probably the worst sister ever. i was a spy. a tattertale. a creep. a wannabe. a fake. a whiny lil bitch.
really. thats the truth.
so, now. i've changed into a original, weirdo, loud, confident, conspirating, and unconventional sister.
the tables have turned.
now, its my turn to pay the price. my sisters excluding charlotte. are awful. AWFUL.
for those who are reading. and going. i dont believe what she's saying. i'm sorry. but i just cant seem to hold it in anymore.
my sisters are the most self centered, self righteous, self praised, irresponsible, ungrateful, inconsiderate and unmoraled people i have ever known. and although they may be related to me by blood. i would rather die than to be related to them in truth.
and no. i'm never ever ever gonna take this back.
and you know what you've done. you made a dent in my life. that permanent damage. the damage you've done will never heal. and because of it, i'm paying but i wont let you make me suffer. you hurt me, i'll hurt you back. that's just the law of the universe.
so my beloved sibling, you really wanna continue with your act of 'pure and clean'? and put me in the darkness? by all means, pick your poison. revenge runs in our blood. as they say, young ones are mad and they learn fast. old dogs cant learn new tricks. young ones can.
bring it on, sister. BRING IT ON.
killing you softly with my love....
joyce
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
hooked on you.
haha. i know i havent blogged much these past few weeks. its cause the pmr toll has already started. the wheels have started turning. truth is I'M NOT READY DAMMNIT!!!!!!
exams start 4th to 8th may! and i'm still here using the comp. sigh. i know i shudnt but i cant help myself.
referring to the title above. hooked on you. there are several things i could mean. like the new laptop my dad got but he aint using yet. my new jeans. the tv. the comp. my phone. a guy.
yes. i said it. a guy. i'm hooked. but no. he aint my bf.
i know its silly to say i'm hooked onto him yet i know i'll never have him.
i mean. imagine this.
the guy. sweet,thoughtful, charming, smart and athletic.
me? ........ have no idea how to describe my self in comparison of him.
but yeah i know pathetic.
anyways, i miss having so much time to laze around and do nothing. now my schedules jammed packed with studying and extra curricular activities. its insane. this time last year. things were so slow moving. i was so bored. now. i'm everything else but bored.
hhahaaha. havent had time to spend with my friends though. like going out with mich, camy, lia. and going to the movies with yiing, samuel, xiao wei, davina, ong and bryan. sigh.
monday i have math tuition. tuesday i got science tuition. wednesday is study day. thursday is rest. friday is rest. saturday, wake up go dancing (yes i know. laugh. go ahead! LOL), afternoon i have malay tuition. then night i go to church youth. which is how i like my saturdays. productive yet not tiring. hahahah!
sundays are mostly used up by studying and doing my chores. hehe.
thats my week. haha. oh and i like walking the dog now that i have a friend to walk with. Edrea's his name. he has a dalmatian about three times the size of my dog yet when my dog went just a lil too close to his dalmatian named mike, the dog jumped into edrea's arms. i was like oh dear. i'm so sorry. hahahaha! his dog is really cute though. haha. has a weird yet funny expression. hahaha!
anyway, that about sums up my past few weeks!
oh! i went to bakat and had THE time of my life!!!! so sure i wanna go next year! it was awesome! we got third which is not bad at all!!!!!!
ahah. mandy's coming back to kk!!! yay! so happy!!
just my flow,
joyce
exams start 4th to 8th may! and i'm still here using the comp. sigh. i know i shudnt but i cant help myself.
referring to the title above. hooked on you. there are several things i could mean. like the new laptop my dad got but he aint using yet. my new jeans. the tv. the comp. my phone. a guy.
yes. i said it. a guy. i'm hooked. but no. he aint my bf.
i know its silly to say i'm hooked onto him yet i know i'll never have him.
i mean. imagine this.
the guy. sweet,thoughtful, charming, smart and athletic.
me? ........ have no idea how to describe my self in comparison of him.
but yeah i know pathetic.
anyways, i miss having so much time to laze around and do nothing. now my schedules jammed packed with studying and extra curricular activities. its insane. this time last year. things were so slow moving. i was so bored. now. i'm everything else but bored.
hhahaaha. havent had time to spend with my friends though. like going out with mich, camy, lia. and going to the movies with yiing, samuel, xiao wei, davina, ong and bryan. sigh.
monday i have math tuition. tuesday i got science tuition. wednesday is study day. thursday is rest. friday is rest. saturday, wake up go dancing (yes i know. laugh. go ahead! LOL), afternoon i have malay tuition. then night i go to church youth. which is how i like my saturdays. productive yet not tiring. hahahah!
sundays are mostly used up by studying and doing my chores. hehe.
thats my week. haha. oh and i like walking the dog now that i have a friend to walk with. Edrea's his name. he has a dalmatian about three times the size of my dog yet when my dog went just a lil too close to his dalmatian named mike, the dog jumped into edrea's arms. i was like oh dear. i'm so sorry. hahahaha! his dog is really cute though. haha. has a weird yet funny expression. hahaha!
anyway, that about sums up my past few weeks!
oh! i went to bakat and had THE time of my life!!!! so sure i wanna go next year! it was awesome! we got third which is not bad at all!!!!!!
ahah. mandy's coming back to kk!!! yay! so happy!!
just my flow,
joyce
Friday, March 20, 2009
its my one hundreth and one post!!!!!!
haha! i finally got to sleep in till 11.... i woke up and looked at the clock.... and thought to myself its a good day! hahahahaha!
everyone in the house was up and running whilst i was upstairs on my bed reading the last book of the twilight series: breaking dawn.
i was so engulfed in it. i forgot to have my bfast and came down stairs to have a headstart on my history and geography projects. thank the good lord for computers and printers!
i imagine myself writing all those stories and information on the paper without the help of technology and shivers run down my spine! hahahahahahhaha!
i went out with my sister char for lunch! we were out with her friend edmund! who looks like a 20 year old but is actually 26! gasp! i know!~!!! he looks like he's fresh out of college well he kinda was but he's actually working now! but he's got plenty of free time oddly enough! he's funny! your typical super funny and lame kinda friend that'll make you laugh no matter what!!
so after lunch, he went for work after endless amounts of teasing my sensitive fingers when i coudln't take the heat of the pizza, so me and ce went to damai for some stationery restoring.
we went home and well, i'm here. typing this. while my very slow comp finds out how old the hospital queen elizabeth is. seriously. streamyx is terrible. argh. thinking bout it makes me pissed. but anyhow, we have to live with it. happy that it still works.
i felt like going to the beach just now when the weather was pitch perfect but then the weather did change and went from good to just fine to bad. it started raining. gah! why!!!!
i don't quite enjoy the rain unless i'm in the emo phase. hah. which is no where near me now. using my dad's laptop to type this. love typing on his keyboard. very effortless. very smoothhhhh... but sadly i cant hear music unless its blaring on the speakers. it wont cooperate with my headphones somehow. hmm....
my current favourite song is now : Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift. i wasn't very much enjoying the song at first but after a while of listening to it now i like it alot. its got this eccentric yet happy beat to it that makes me shake your head from left to right. ahahahahah.
but its just perhaps the lyrics are matched to my current situation but who cares?!
i love taylor swift. i mean she isn't exactly the best singer of all time but she is a good singer nonetheless. i love her songs. its the lyrics i'm drawn to the most. their just the pure truth added with a melody that mixes together and forms something that not only can you enjoy but relate to!
i'm ranting ang rambling again aren't i?
hah! i did some quizzes on facebook and it turns out! my actual age is seventeen instead of fifteen! mich got eighteen! once again a year older! haha! my sis char got 22! she was totally emo after that! hearing all the screamo music blaring from her car! hahahahahhahah! all because one stupid quiz told her she was two years older than her actual age!
i talked to a couple of my primary school mates whom have moved to Down Under! i miss them lots!!!! if you're reading this ian, my teddy bear, i miss you!!! no people he's not my boyfriend! he's just ian pang! my very good chubby friend who claims he isnt chubby but macho now! hahahahahahah! he wishes doesnt he? hahaha!
i think most of us have changed alot! we've all evolved and changed into someone else. like ugly ducklings into swans and tadpoles to frogs and from the caterpillar into a butterfly! its all so funny to see! but i know of some that have not changed a bit! in looks and thoughts! they seem to be stuck and they refuse to grow up! how grotesque!? i know!!!!!!!!!!
my house might have to undergo some surgery! oops i meant. construction.
and we might have to pack some stuff and throw some stuff out to accomadate with the might happens of the near future. my mom's overjoyed with this. she cant wait for us to start throwing things out of the house. keep in mind my mom is a simple person. too much stuff and she will start getting cranky and paranoid.
oh dear. i dont like construction works. their very. erm. dusty. stinky. and the workers are just weird. but then if they were any better they wouldn't be working as workers would they? no of course not! so yeah i guess i'll just have to bear it with the rest of my family!
i visited the hospital Queen Elizabeth on thursday. it was cool. fyi, i have never been inside before. it just never happened. everyone is family has gone before but i just never had the chance so this time i did. and i thought i could go inside the grey building which is the oldest since well, 1957! yeah its fifty yrs old. but unfortunately for me, the building was cracked in a couple of places and its starting to sink. so no one could go in anymore. i got to meet the deputy director though. that was pretty cool. he looked just like the rest of us. average. i took some pictures and then left for the museum. i havent been to the museum in AGES. i think the last time i went there was when i was in kindie. hahahahaa. the old rolls royce is still there. dusty as ever. it was kinda cool and creepy at the same time. it was awfully quiet which is pretty freaky. its got this eerie hum when you walk around. me and megan were like: is it too quiet in here? but every once in a while the tourist will pass by giving us smiles of warmth and we went phew okay we're safe. there was one part where we had to cross the so called caves of time and it was dark and there was this automatic sound of bats and a hum from the ancient times and me and meg were like what the hell? so we were walking in this fast pace only to find ourselves on the other end facing faces that were laughing at us. apparently, we were walking and giggling a lil too loud for them. hahahahahhahaha!
i got home. i started typing for history and then i find out that the pictures that i took actually needed me in them. argh! so now i might have to go to QE again. sigh.
i wanna go out of the country to finish my studies la! what in the world for do we need to learn moral and sivik for?! we need to memorize at least 32 definitions in order to pass and then go for the next level. civic and moral are exactly the same if you exclude the fact that civic has politics whereas moral doesnt. we have to memorize every word. forgot a word? too bad. thats two marks down your grade. its pure idiocracy. i know of kids who score for moral and have no moral basis at all!
oh dear. i'm getting worked up.
my mom's secretary is leaving us. she apparently wants to take up a course in tourism management. my mom was angrrryyy. well, i think my mom had the right to be. she didnt give her a months notice. in fact, she gave just a week. my mom managed to persuade her to give her a month to find a replacement. well, my mom decided that a replacement wasnt needed. that she could do it herself. we're not so sure. but well, my mom's kinda stubborn. hahahahahaha.
anyhow, my life's okay now. nothing too bad. nothing extravagantly good. its just stable and peaceful. well, got to go now.
life calls,
joyce
everyone in the house was up and running whilst i was upstairs on my bed reading the last book of the twilight series: breaking dawn.
i was so engulfed in it. i forgot to have my bfast and came down stairs to have a headstart on my history and geography projects. thank the good lord for computers and printers!
i imagine myself writing all those stories and information on the paper without the help of technology and shivers run down my spine! hahahahahahhaha!
i went out with my sister char for lunch! we were out with her friend edmund! who looks like a 20 year old but is actually 26! gasp! i know!~!!! he looks like he's fresh out of college well he kinda was but he's actually working now! but he's got plenty of free time oddly enough! he's funny! your typical super funny and lame kinda friend that'll make you laugh no matter what!!
so after lunch, he went for work after endless amounts of teasing my sensitive fingers when i coudln't take the heat of the pizza, so me and ce went to damai for some stationery restoring.
we went home and well, i'm here. typing this. while my very slow comp finds out how old the hospital queen elizabeth is. seriously. streamyx is terrible. argh. thinking bout it makes me pissed. but anyhow, we have to live with it. happy that it still works.
i felt like going to the beach just now when the weather was pitch perfect but then the weather did change and went from good to just fine to bad. it started raining. gah! why!!!!
i don't quite enjoy the rain unless i'm in the emo phase. hah. which is no where near me now. using my dad's laptop to type this. love typing on his keyboard. very effortless. very smoothhhhh... but sadly i cant hear music unless its blaring on the speakers. it wont cooperate with my headphones somehow. hmm....
my current favourite song is now : Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift. i wasn't very much enjoying the song at first but after a while of listening to it now i like it alot. its got this eccentric yet happy beat to it that makes me shake your head from left to right. ahahahahah.
but its just perhaps the lyrics are matched to my current situation but who cares?!
i love taylor swift. i mean she isn't exactly the best singer of all time but she is a good singer nonetheless. i love her songs. its the lyrics i'm drawn to the most. their just the pure truth added with a melody that mixes together and forms something that not only can you enjoy but relate to!
i'm ranting ang rambling again aren't i?
hah! i did some quizzes on facebook and it turns out! my actual age is seventeen instead of fifteen! mich got eighteen! once again a year older! haha! my sis char got 22! she was totally emo after that! hearing all the screamo music blaring from her car! hahahahahhahah! all because one stupid quiz told her she was two years older than her actual age!
i talked to a couple of my primary school mates whom have moved to Down Under! i miss them lots!!!! if you're reading this ian, my teddy bear, i miss you!!! no people he's not my boyfriend! he's just ian pang! my very good chubby friend who claims he isnt chubby but macho now! hahahahahahah! he wishes doesnt he? hahaha!
i think most of us have changed alot! we've all evolved and changed into someone else. like ugly ducklings into swans and tadpoles to frogs and from the caterpillar into a butterfly! its all so funny to see! but i know of some that have not changed a bit! in looks and thoughts! they seem to be stuck and they refuse to grow up! how grotesque!? i know!!!!!!!!!!
my house might have to undergo some surgery! oops i meant. construction.
and we might have to pack some stuff and throw some stuff out to accomadate with the might happens of the near future. my mom's overjoyed with this. she cant wait for us to start throwing things out of the house. keep in mind my mom is a simple person. too much stuff and she will start getting cranky and paranoid.
oh dear. i dont like construction works. their very. erm. dusty. stinky. and the workers are just weird. but then if they were any better they wouldn't be working as workers would they? no of course not! so yeah i guess i'll just have to bear it with the rest of my family!
i visited the hospital Queen Elizabeth on thursday. it was cool. fyi, i have never been inside before. it just never happened. everyone is family has gone before but i just never had the chance so this time i did. and i thought i could go inside the grey building which is the oldest since well, 1957! yeah its fifty yrs old. but unfortunately for me, the building was cracked in a couple of places and its starting to sink. so no one could go in anymore. i got to meet the deputy director though. that was pretty cool. he looked just like the rest of us. average. i took some pictures and then left for the museum. i havent been to the museum in AGES. i think the last time i went there was when i was in kindie. hahahahaa. the old rolls royce is still there. dusty as ever. it was kinda cool and creepy at the same time. it was awfully quiet which is pretty freaky. its got this eerie hum when you walk around. me and megan were like: is it too quiet in here? but every once in a while the tourist will pass by giving us smiles of warmth and we went phew okay we're safe. there was one part where we had to cross the so called caves of time and it was dark and there was this automatic sound of bats and a hum from the ancient times and me and meg were like what the hell? so we were walking in this fast pace only to find ourselves on the other end facing faces that were laughing at us. apparently, we were walking and giggling a lil too loud for them. hahahahahhahaha!
i got home. i started typing for history and then i find out that the pictures that i took actually needed me in them. argh! so now i might have to go to QE again. sigh.
i wanna go out of the country to finish my studies la! what in the world for do we need to learn moral and sivik for?! we need to memorize at least 32 definitions in order to pass and then go for the next level. civic and moral are exactly the same if you exclude the fact that civic has politics whereas moral doesnt. we have to memorize every word. forgot a word? too bad. thats two marks down your grade. its pure idiocracy. i know of kids who score for moral and have no moral basis at all!
oh dear. i'm getting worked up.
my mom's secretary is leaving us. she apparently wants to take up a course in tourism management. my mom was angrrryyy. well, i think my mom had the right to be. she didnt give her a months notice. in fact, she gave just a week. my mom managed to persuade her to give her a month to find a replacement. well, my mom decided that a replacement wasnt needed. that she could do it herself. we're not so sure. but well, my mom's kinda stubborn. hahahahahaha.
anyhow, my life's okay now. nothing too bad. nothing extravagantly good. its just stable and peaceful. well, got to go now.
life calls,
joyce
Thursday, March 19, 2009
you know what?
i was flipping through all my older post like the ones i first started typing.
i realized. I've changed. and. some parts are for the better. but some parts. I'm not so fond of.
i say and do things differently. i care about things that i shouldn't care about. at all. I've started depending on other people's help. i didn't need the help but i caved in anyway so that i get to laze around. I used to go headstrong into problems and fix them now i just let them ease at my discomfort and just leave it all hanging.
whats happening?
i know some things have changed for the better. I've started caring for the people around me. even the one's that i don't know too well. i care about how what i say might affect them. and if i say something i shouldn't have i try as fast as possible to fix it. I've started saving. which is good. i think. hehe. I've started to study. everyday. about two hours. I use the comp less. watch tv less. not the couch potato. unless its the hols. thats an exception. hehe. i know i'm less of the mean person i used to be. i'm starting to let things that used to irritate me slip. just slip under the rug. and then away and forgotten.
i'm trying. really hard. to change for the better.
but is it working?
i feel lost and found.
joyce
i realized. I've changed. and. some parts are for the better. but some parts. I'm not so fond of.
i say and do things differently. i care about things that i shouldn't care about. at all. I've started depending on other people's help. i didn't need the help but i caved in anyway so that i get to laze around. I used to go headstrong into problems and fix them now i just let them ease at my discomfort and just leave it all hanging.
whats happening?
i know some things have changed for the better. I've started caring for the people around me. even the one's that i don't know too well. i care about how what i say might affect them. and if i say something i shouldn't have i try as fast as possible to fix it. I've started saving. which is good. i think. hehe. I've started to study. everyday. about two hours. I use the comp less. watch tv less. not the couch potato. unless its the hols. thats an exception. hehe. i know i'm less of the mean person i used to be. i'm starting to let things that used to irritate me slip. just slip under the rug. and then away and forgotten.
i'm trying. really hard. to change for the better.
but is it working?
i feel lost and found.
joyce
if you could read my thoughts or feel my pain.
to those you already know. stop reading. go away. to those that don't know. i beg of you. read and then don't give it a second thought.
i chose to like you. choosing the wrong button.
i pressed to see what i could get.
red light appeared.
shit! i failed once again.
i turned to walk away.
but my feet would me bring no further.
my thoughts scrambled for plan B
only to be shocked at my plea
there was no escape plan for me
only the cliff and the sea
but once again i reeled my soul in
i could not believe my eyes
i read and read and read again
but the words wouldn't apply
my brain felt numb
i felt like crap
and then i understood
what they meant
by feeling nothing
and how it felt
to feel like you're floating on such a thin air
and yet feel like you're body's not even there
how could i be so naive?
how could i put up such false hopes?
how could i believe all that i see?
and believe that's all i need.
but now, i know the truth.
you already have what you need.
me on the other hand.
i'm left hanging.
but i believe i'll stand again.
on my feet. and not on my knees.
i just need time.
to take it in.
this probably sounds cliche.
but its happening.
probably not you.
but it is to me.
sorry i'm probably wasting your time.
i know whats it like to have someone say no.
dont tell me i dont know. what do you know?
don't call me a b**ch. i'll show you one.
don't call me cold. i'll give you snow.
don't tell me what to do. i'll do it wrong.
cause what i wanna do is what you hate to be involved with.
just some thoughts and stuff i had to get off my chest.
joyce
i chose to like you. choosing the wrong button.
i pressed to see what i could get.
red light appeared.
shit! i failed once again.
i turned to walk away.
but my feet would me bring no further.
my thoughts scrambled for plan B
only to be shocked at my plea
there was no escape plan for me
only the cliff and the sea
but once again i reeled my soul in
i could not believe my eyes
i read and read and read again
but the words wouldn't apply
my brain felt numb
i felt like crap
and then i understood
what they meant
by feeling nothing
and how it felt
to feel like you're floating on such a thin air
and yet feel like you're body's not even there
how could i be so naive?
how could i put up such false hopes?
how could i believe all that i see?
and believe that's all i need.
but now, i know the truth.
you already have what you need.
me on the other hand.
i'm left hanging.
but i believe i'll stand again.
on my feet. and not on my knees.
i just need time.
to take it in.
this probably sounds cliche.
but its happening.
probably not you.
but it is to me.
sorry i'm probably wasting your time.
i know whats it like to have someone say no.
dont tell me i dont know. what do you know?
don't call me a b**ch. i'll show you one.
don't call me cold. i'll give you snow.
don't tell me what to do. i'll do it wrong.
cause what i wanna do is what you hate to be involved with.
just some thoughts and stuff i had to get off my chest.
joyce
Marley and Me... double dousage
I watched marley and me.... twice!
i know you probably went: aiyo! or what?~
the first time was with mich and yiing. we watched it and i was the only one out of the three that cried. can you believe that when i was teraing up mich actually giggled?! and went: you crying? aiyo!
i was like WTH?!
so this time.... i went with well... alot of people. i think twenty of em. all from church. i know. klites probably went what?! sabahans went: she finally goes to church!
hahah! i know! yes, i'm going to church people. to fill myself with some hope and faith in the Lord Almighty.
Thank god! this time around the only person that snickered was Edrea that sat beside me. he probably did it unconsciously. i forgive him. hahah!everyone else cried with me! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhaahahahaha!
yeah. it was jessica chen's bday. and about three days ago, it was frances's bday. and so i heard oscar's is on the way.
yeah i had a fairly good day and night. everything went well. we had dinner at hong kong recipe. i didnt have much coz of the sandwiches in the afternoon. had one too many of those deliciously filling things! hahahahah!
i love dogs. forever have. forever will. hehe!
somethings never change,
joyce
i know you probably went: aiyo! or what?~
the first time was with mich and yiing. we watched it and i was the only one out of the three that cried. can you believe that when i was teraing up mich actually giggled?! and went: you crying? aiyo!
i was like WTH?!
so this time.... i went with well... alot of people. i think twenty of em. all from church. i know. klites probably went what?! sabahans went: she finally goes to church!
hahah! i know! yes, i'm going to church people. to fill myself with some hope and faith in the Lord Almighty.
Thank god! this time around the only person that snickered was Edrea that sat beside me. he probably did it unconsciously. i forgive him. hahah!everyone else cried with me! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhaahahahaha!
yeah. it was jessica chen's bday. and about three days ago, it was frances's bday. and so i heard oscar's is on the way.
yeah i had a fairly good day and night. everything went well. we had dinner at hong kong recipe. i didnt have much coz of the sandwiches in the afternoon. had one too many of those deliciously filling things! hahahahah!
i love dogs. forever have. forever will. hehe!
somethings never change,
joyce
Friday, March 13, 2009
sometimes....its all a lie.
ever feel like someone you thought you knew was suddenly different from your description?
have you ever felt that liking someone is just a mistake you could afford to make but wasn't worth making?
have you ever felt like you were such a failure at times of loss?
have you ever been put down by a family member or a close friend in times of sadness?
have you ever been insulted by a group of people you thought were your friends?
have you ever been sick with disgust when you find out the people you trust were just liars in disguise?
have you ever wanted something so badly yet could never really achieve?
have you ever wanted attention so badly you would rebel in order to attain some?
have you ever wondered what it'd be like for your crush to like you back even though you know subconsciously it isn't going to happen?
Have you ever liked someone for so long yet done nothing about it because you think you don't have the chops?
have you ever been rejected by another based on your looks alone?
the lies. the truth. the scandal. the rage. the wrath. and the calm after the storm.
for what we don't know in, we should not meddle in.
but what i do know is. i like you. but there's nothing i can make you do to like me.
just saying things to express my feelings in the leas violent way.
joyce
have you ever felt that liking someone is just a mistake you could afford to make but wasn't worth making?
have you ever felt like you were such a failure at times of loss?
have you ever been put down by a family member or a close friend in times of sadness?
have you ever been insulted by a group of people you thought were your friends?
have you ever been sick with disgust when you find out the people you trust were just liars in disguise?
have you ever wanted something so badly yet could never really achieve?
have you ever wanted attention so badly you would rebel in order to attain some?
have you ever wondered what it'd be like for your crush to like you back even though you know subconsciously it isn't going to happen?
Have you ever liked someone for so long yet done nothing about it because you think you don't have the chops?
have you ever been rejected by another based on your looks alone?
the lies. the truth. the scandal. the rage. the wrath. and the calm after the storm.
for what we don't know in, we should not meddle in.
but what i do know is. i like you. but there's nothing i can make you do to like me.
just saying things to express my feelings in the leas violent way.
joyce
Saturday, March 7, 2009
temporary freedom..... heehehheheeh....
Friday the Sixth.
My mom went to singapore. hahahahahahah!!!!
She wanted a break from all things connected to her work and house life. haha.
She wanted to shop and see her sister. thank god for airasia!
and my mom is so silly! international flights need two hours check in! everyone knows that!
my mom's flight was at 1830 but by four fifty pm we were still in the house! i was like: MOM YOU"RE GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT!!!!!!!! and she replied: my flights at six thirty la!
still got one hour and a half! my sister and I stood in awe and shock! she didnt have a clue did she? oh dear. boy, did we scramble? oh yes we did.
my sister drove and sped like crazy on the road, but half way there, my dad who was going to kl said: wait, where's my passport?
so then we dropped my mom at the airport and my dad insisted he drive cause he couldn't take my sister's SLOW driving.
earlier, i said my sister was driving like a crazy person. i take that back. crazy driving is my dad's title.
say" you're on the outer right lane but you need to get into the outer left lane, and thats about three or four lanes away with a lil divider about 20 metres away. would you cross over? would you go over the divider? go against the flow?
that's exactly what my dad did. he crossed over. my sister was freaking out silently and motionlessly in the car. but i know my sister well. she can't take these kinda things. but then again i've never been a driver so i wouldn't know all the skill and practice stuff. haha!
from my dad's driving, he cuts and drifts like mad when he's pissed. i think it would be safe to say you wouldn't want to meet my dad when he's pissed on the road! hahahahaha!
So after we sent our parents off at the airport, me and ce wanted to calm our senses down from all the speeding and adrenaline running through our veins. We went to the yacht club for a drink. Let me tell you this. I love the beach. the sea. the sand. the wind. the waves. but the utmost important role in the scene, the sun and its powerful waves of sunlight! how it makes the water shimmer. the clouds look like they glow and the immerse feeling of liveliness! I couldn't stop taking pictures. And so did a few other old men. ahaha! this old man had a D-SLR camera. and he looked like my dad in a way. how he angled the camera. took a million shots per angle so he could get this perfect shot. me and ce discussed that. I dont mind doing that. taking the shot over and over again just for the nicest one. but char isn't like that she just wants that one perfect shot and if she cant get it in one shot she'll just prefer to look at the view and keep the view in memory.
we also dicussed alot of family stuff there. clothes. friends. outings. its funny how silence makes you spill your innermost thoughts and feelings out in the open. haha!
On saturday, i was supposed to go for karate but i decided not to. since getting up was a factor and getting there was a problem haha! i went for malay tuition and came back to read what i wrote and done just as revision. I like the tuition. its helpful and he keeps us in on a roll. no stops just going on with a pace. not a minute goes to waste. I then went for church youth. sadly, my eyecandy wasn't there to greet me with a smile like the usual. he had to stay home and study. dang. haha. i told michelle bout this. she had a migrain immediately but i assured her that wasnt the reason i was going to church. more like, i wanted to learn more about Him and just wanted a moral assurance.
thats about it. I'm going out with michelle and wen yiing later. for some shopping and a movie! Marley and ME!!!!! hahaha.
sometimes it isnt everything,
joyce
My mom went to singapore. hahahahahahah!!!!
She wanted a break from all things connected to her work and house life. haha.
She wanted to shop and see her sister. thank god for airasia!
and my mom is so silly! international flights need two hours check in! everyone knows that!
my mom's flight was at 1830 but by four fifty pm we were still in the house! i was like: MOM YOU"RE GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT!!!!!!!! and she replied: my flights at six thirty la!
still got one hour and a half! my sister and I stood in awe and shock! she didnt have a clue did she? oh dear. boy, did we scramble? oh yes we did.
my sister drove and sped like crazy on the road, but half way there, my dad who was going to kl said: wait, where's my passport?
so then we dropped my mom at the airport and my dad insisted he drive cause he couldn't take my sister's SLOW driving.
earlier, i said my sister was driving like a crazy person. i take that back. crazy driving is my dad's title.
say" you're on the outer right lane but you need to get into the outer left lane, and thats about three or four lanes away with a lil divider about 20 metres away. would you cross over? would you go over the divider? go against the flow?
that's exactly what my dad did. he crossed over. my sister was freaking out silently and motionlessly in the car. but i know my sister well. she can't take these kinda things. but then again i've never been a driver so i wouldn't know all the skill and practice stuff. haha!
from my dad's driving, he cuts and drifts like mad when he's pissed. i think it would be safe to say you wouldn't want to meet my dad when he's pissed on the road! hahahahaha!
So after we sent our parents off at the airport, me and ce wanted to calm our senses down from all the speeding and adrenaline running through our veins. We went to the yacht club for a drink. Let me tell you this. I love the beach. the sea. the sand. the wind. the waves. but the utmost important role in the scene, the sun and its powerful waves of sunlight! how it makes the water shimmer. the clouds look like they glow and the immerse feeling of liveliness! I couldn't stop taking pictures. And so did a few other old men. ahaha! this old man had a D-SLR camera. and he looked like my dad in a way. how he angled the camera. took a million shots per angle so he could get this perfect shot. me and ce discussed that. I dont mind doing that. taking the shot over and over again just for the nicest one. but char isn't like that she just wants that one perfect shot and if she cant get it in one shot she'll just prefer to look at the view and keep the view in memory.
we also dicussed alot of family stuff there. clothes. friends. outings. its funny how silence makes you spill your innermost thoughts and feelings out in the open. haha!
On saturday, i was supposed to go for karate but i decided not to. since getting up was a factor and getting there was a problem haha! i went for malay tuition and came back to read what i wrote and done just as revision. I like the tuition. its helpful and he keeps us in on a roll. no stops just going on with a pace. not a minute goes to waste. I then went for church youth. sadly, my eyecandy wasn't there to greet me with a smile like the usual. he had to stay home and study. dang. haha. i told michelle bout this. she had a migrain immediately but i assured her that wasnt the reason i was going to church. more like, i wanted to learn more about Him and just wanted a moral assurance.
thats about it. I'm going out with michelle and wen yiing later. for some shopping and a movie! Marley and ME!!!!! hahaha.
sometimes it isnt everything,
joyce
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
the enticement excites me but it shall tempt me no further....
I haven't used the comp in two weeks! ahhahahah!
now i know what its like to be so uber busy and then just falling asleep only to be woken up for tuition! hhahahahah!
using the comp daily has to stop and change to a weekly thing.
so my dear friends,
it'll be a once a week thing. i'll be on for two hours and then i'm off to hit the books! haha!
i realized something really in my life. i fall for guys that will never fall for me. and they always become my best friend or good friend and then it'll never be.
its like those stupid cliche plots for a movie. crap. i live like some soap opera. oh dear. hahahahahahahhahahahahaha.
currently, relating my life to the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift. its good. i like her. hahahah!
gtg study now! Exams are all over the place and eating me alive!
crazy for books and boys,
joyce
now i know what its like to be so uber busy and then just falling asleep only to be woken up for tuition! hhahahahah!
using the comp daily has to stop and change to a weekly thing.
so my dear friends,
it'll be a once a week thing. i'll be on for two hours and then i'm off to hit the books! haha!
i realized something really in my life. i fall for guys that will never fall for me. and they always become my best friend or good friend and then it'll never be.
its like those stupid cliche plots for a movie. crap. i live like some soap opera. oh dear. hahahahahahahhahahahahaha.
currently, relating my life to the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift. its good. i like her. hahahah!
gtg study now! Exams are all over the place and eating me alive!
crazy for books and boys,
joyce
Thursday, February 19, 2009
OH NO~!!!!! I'M SICK~~~~~
The last time i went to the doctors was two years ago. I had a fever then. Now. I have a fever and a upper respiratory tract infection. It all started with a small lil sore throat and then became a wheezing cough and then a total bonfire of a fever. I wasn't the only with it. My friends had it too. My teachers were actually telling us to go home because we had it. They were blaming the weather. they were really cute about it though! hah!
I had the cough on monday and then tuesday i had it a lil worse with a slight fever. Wednesday was when i couldn't take it anymore. I was in class and i couldnt think straight. I had to distract myself to not fall asleep and get sent home. but not even my friends were buying my oh so famous line of I AM OK LA! hehe. i was picked up by ce char to go hoome to my comforting and warm bed. but before i could get forty winks to get better my mom whisked me off to where i got my first injection to get some medical consultation and some meds. The doctor was telling us it was due to the weather and its constant change from sunny to windy to rain and then sunny again that was affecting all of us. even the doc was a lil down with the cough! haha!
I took the advantage of the time home to finish up all the undone homework. like the history notes i've been procrastinating and the math i've been avoiding! haha!
Now, all i want is to be better and not have porridge everyday!!!
a lil eccentric i know,
joyce
I had the cough on monday and then tuesday i had it a lil worse with a slight fever. Wednesday was when i couldn't take it anymore. I was in class and i couldnt think straight. I had to distract myself to not fall asleep and get sent home. but not even my friends were buying my oh so famous line of I AM OK LA! hehe. i was picked up by ce char to go hoome to my comforting and warm bed. but before i could get forty winks to get better my mom whisked me off to where i got my first injection to get some medical consultation and some meds. The doctor was telling us it was due to the weather and its constant change from sunny to windy to rain and then sunny again that was affecting all of us. even the doc was a lil down with the cough! haha!
I took the advantage of the time home to finish up all the undone homework. like the history notes i've been procrastinating and the math i've been avoiding! haha!
Now, all i want is to be better and not have porridge everyday!!!
a lil eccentric i know,
joyce
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
life is passing me by.... what should i do?
its been a while since i blogged...time really does fly without you noticing...
in class, i feel a little bit weird... the class i'm in isn't like the classes i'm used to... its very.... unwelcoming... no one cares about you...
they hardly acknowledge your presence and even if they do talk to you, they sound as if their unwilling and obligated to. even if they dont mean it. you can hear it in their voice.
everyone's telling me to forget it cause they'll come to you when they fine out about how good you are.
but am i good enough? am i cool enough? am i nice enough to even be their friend? i know i sound awfully stupid but its bugging me. not all the time but. still. its like a stone in your shoe. you'll get used to it but it bugs you anyway.
my circle of friends that consisted of Xiao Wei, Davina, Stanley, Samuel, Li Ze, Chris, Samson, wen Yiing, Dylan, Nicole, and Madeline. now its just down to me, Wen Yiing, Dylan and Nicole.and the newest additions, chong vui vun and aaron yong. chong vui vun is a bit... well gay... coz... he has only a sister to look up to and I dont blame him... at least he isnt a fake-ish kinda gay... .Aaron on the other hand is kinda cool. he's a athlete with mad. he's friendly and nice. the best part abt him! HE ISNT IMMATURE!!!!! haahahahah...
its Valentine's day on saturday! all the lovey dovey couples have already started planning for this oh-so-lovely-day!!! well, i'm glad i;m single! hahaha!dont hav to fuss on what to get or buy for your partner! i think its wonderful to have a day to shower your loved one with gifts but at such a young age, its truly unnecessary! you can barely earn a wage of rm200 a month why spend a great deal amount of your PARENTS money on your supposedly GIRL or BOYFRIEND when the possibility of the break up is like a month or two away?
on the positive note, i am jealous of those lucky bi***es who get flowers and gifts on vday... haha... envious would be a better word tho... haha! wishing i were in their shoes? not so much. maybe. maybe not. but i have a better way of spending valentine night! ahha! i'm going to church! i heard a loud gasp escape your lips! how dare you! hahahaha! yeah. i took advice from my relatives on going to youth! thank you vincent! i think its probably time i spend more time with the Man Upstairs!
well... thats about it... i think.... am listening to The Fray - You Found Me... really nice...
its time thats changing me...
joyce
in class, i feel a little bit weird... the class i'm in isn't like the classes i'm used to... its very.... unwelcoming... no one cares about you...
they hardly acknowledge your presence and even if they do talk to you, they sound as if their unwilling and obligated to. even if they dont mean it. you can hear it in their voice.
everyone's telling me to forget it cause they'll come to you when they fine out about how good you are.
but am i good enough? am i cool enough? am i nice enough to even be their friend? i know i sound awfully stupid but its bugging me. not all the time but. still. its like a stone in your shoe. you'll get used to it but it bugs you anyway.
my circle of friends that consisted of Xiao Wei, Davina, Stanley, Samuel, Li Ze, Chris, Samson, wen Yiing, Dylan, Nicole, and Madeline. now its just down to me, Wen Yiing, Dylan and Nicole.and the newest additions, chong vui vun and aaron yong. chong vui vun is a bit... well gay... coz... he has only a sister to look up to and I dont blame him... at least he isnt a fake-ish kinda gay... .Aaron on the other hand is kinda cool. he's a athlete with mad. he's friendly and nice. the best part abt him! HE ISNT IMMATURE!!!!! haahahahah...
its Valentine's day on saturday! all the lovey dovey couples have already started planning for this oh-so-lovely-day!!! well, i'm glad i;m single! hahaha!dont hav to fuss on what to get or buy for your partner! i think its wonderful to have a day to shower your loved one with gifts but at such a young age, its truly unnecessary! you can barely earn a wage of rm200 a month why spend a great deal amount of your PARENTS money on your supposedly GIRL or BOYFRIEND when the possibility of the break up is like a month or two away?
on the positive note, i am jealous of those lucky bi***es who get flowers and gifts on vday... haha... envious would be a better word tho... haha! wishing i were in their shoes? not so much. maybe. maybe not. but i have a better way of spending valentine night! ahha! i'm going to church! i heard a loud gasp escape your lips! how dare you! hahahaha! yeah. i took advice from my relatives on going to youth! thank you vincent! i think its probably time i spend more time with the Man Upstairs!
well... thats about it... i think.... am listening to The Fray - You Found Me... really nice...
its time thats changing me...
joyce
Thursday, January 29, 2009
if you havent watched it gurl, YOU SHUD!!!!
what could moi be talking about?
hahah!
ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING OF COURSE!!!!
its such a good flick for girls 13 and above and just below 22 !
hahahahahahhaha!!! no offense to those too young or a lil elderly!
its about a girl called georgia nicholson, she's 14 turning 15, i like this movie because there are no hollywood stars for a change. also because not all the stars are super good looking. in fact, georgia groome the main actress isnt really pretty. she's just average. and i think what attracted me the most to this movie, no no not the boy although he is awesomely gorgeous! haha! is the fact that she's a lil bit of a lost soul... she's all about making herself thinner prettier bustier and perfect for him! she may seem selfish but its actually just because she wants things to happen for her! and i think most of us are searching for that someone who cares for us and wants us as much as we want them! we all want to know more about the coupledom world and we all want to look better as girls! we all scheme and plan and we tend to forget the act doesnt last as long as your true self! and i love this movie! i wouldn't mind watching it over and over again!
the aftermath, i'm currently listening to the soundtrack for the movie. the band Stiff Dylans are cool. really cool. but actually the actor Aaron Johnson isnt in the band like in the movie but besides that, the songs are cool. i also like the other tracks.
btw, Aaron Johnson is so hot! hahahahahah! if you dont believe me, go watch the movie! all the picky girls i know about guys are absolutely DROOLING over him! he's that hot! hahahahahah!
i just came back from kl! haha! my bag's zipper broke that means only one thing..... i bought a lil extra! hahahahaha! sadly the extra wasnt for everyone! hahaha! i only got a thing or two for a couple of people! if you didnt get one, so sorry mate!
lovin livin and breathing, especially laughin,
joyce
Thursday, January 22, 2009
i'm at loss with words...
today i ran the school marathon, 5.5km... no biggie la... nearly everyone ran.. except for the few that ran away like cowards with the excuse of not liking the sun or sweat..
i ran with wen yiing this year. or rather we did brisk walking. fast stroll finishing it with confidence. haha. we were no where near the top ten. hahahah. probably just above fifty or so.
after that, as usual, i walked home but before that i kinda called my sister. so she just assumed i was gonna wait for her. i called! not mis-called! aiks...
so, i arrived home. on the way. well, i've been walking home for about three weeks not... and observing people i did. here's the conclusion there are more and more childish and naive children nowadays due to very anxious and over protective parents. i know you probably went: cheh~~..... or.... thats it?
well yeah. the parents are waiting outside of school in their cars half an hour or an hour before schools out. they wait with their mags or their knitting and their phones or even just sitting with other parents to gossip or complain!
then, when the bell rings, they rush into school to pick up their precious gems who are screaming and complaining and then rushing into the car to use their oh so good iPods or their super new phones which are so much more canggih than mine!
and while the kids are waiting comfortably in the car, the parents are way at the back carrying their bags and water bottles and stuff. i'm like why torture yourself so badly when your kid is perfectly healthy and capable of carrying their own bags?
i remember when me and my sisters were at elementary school, all my mom did was drop me off or pick me up. and we didnt even bother asking her to send us in or walk us in or carry our bags for us. we didnt ask them to bring us food or take our bags. and if you ask the parents they'll say that the bags now are heavier and they have more books now. we still have the same subjects as we did when we were their age, we managed to carry all the books by ourselves. more and more spoilt and stupid.
and parents nowadays, are utterly stupid. they will just about park anywhere to pick up their kids. imagine this. two way road. mother on the left road comes out and parks in the opposite side of the road. PARKS. she then gets out and leaves to get her children then she finds out her child's class isn't over then WAITS at the school hallway. what she chose to ignore was the fact that she parked her car in the middle of the road and not for a few minutes but ten. her car was nearly smashed by a four wheel drive driven by a very fierce and violent man. her car was just a small suzuki swift. she then comes a whole fifteen minutes later and gets rude faces, ugly fingers and very harsh words all of which she deserves due to her act of total idiocracy and stupidity.
i love my parents. they weren't too strict but strict altogether. they weren't over protective in fact we were the type that took care of ourselves. i hope i can go half the good job they did when i'm a parent one day. just maybe. haha.
loving the hate,
joyce
i ran with wen yiing this year. or rather we did brisk walking. fast stroll finishing it with confidence. haha. we were no where near the top ten. hahahah. probably just above fifty or so.
after that, as usual, i walked home but before that i kinda called my sister. so she just assumed i was gonna wait for her. i called! not mis-called! aiks...
so, i arrived home. on the way. well, i've been walking home for about three weeks not... and observing people i did. here's the conclusion there are more and more childish and naive children nowadays due to very anxious and over protective parents. i know you probably went: cheh~~..... or.... thats it?
well yeah. the parents are waiting outside of school in their cars half an hour or an hour before schools out. they wait with their mags or their knitting and their phones or even just sitting with other parents to gossip or complain!
then, when the bell rings, they rush into school to pick up their precious gems who are screaming and complaining and then rushing into the car to use their oh so good iPods or their super new phones which are so much more canggih than mine!
and while the kids are waiting comfortably in the car, the parents are way at the back carrying their bags and water bottles and stuff. i'm like why torture yourself so badly when your kid is perfectly healthy and capable of carrying their own bags?
i remember when me and my sisters were at elementary school, all my mom did was drop me off or pick me up. and we didnt even bother asking her to send us in or walk us in or carry our bags for us. we didnt ask them to bring us food or take our bags. and if you ask the parents they'll say that the bags now are heavier and they have more books now. we still have the same subjects as we did when we were their age, we managed to carry all the books by ourselves. more and more spoilt and stupid.
and parents nowadays, are utterly stupid. they will just about park anywhere to pick up their kids. imagine this. two way road. mother on the left road comes out and parks in the opposite side of the road. PARKS. she then gets out and leaves to get her children then she finds out her child's class isn't over then WAITS at the school hallway. what she chose to ignore was the fact that she parked her car in the middle of the road and not for a few minutes but ten. her car was nearly smashed by a four wheel drive driven by a very fierce and violent man. her car was just a small suzuki swift. she then comes a whole fifteen minutes later and gets rude faces, ugly fingers and very harsh words all of which she deserves due to her act of total idiocracy and stupidity.
i love my parents. they weren't too strict but strict altogether. they weren't over protective in fact we were the type that took care of ourselves. i hope i can go half the good job they did when i'm a parent one day. just maybe. haha.
loving the hate,
joyce
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