have been having quite a number of bad days. family matters intruding my every brain cell.
sorry if i havent been around. been pretty busy and away.
sorry if i caused any amount of trouble for ya'll.
been pretty insulting due to my bad moods. sorry stephen!
hmm. i miss him alot and there's nothing i can do. haha. cliche i know.
I love you grandma! YOU'RE THE BEST GMA IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
loving, praising, missing, crying and apologising,
joyce
Showing posts with label floating feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label floating feelings. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
sometimes, i feel stupid when i talk to you.
sometimes, when you call me and talk to me, i feel comforted by your voice but when we talk, i feel really stupid compared to you. you.re smart and everything that i'm not.
anyways, i've not been in school for two days. kinda miss it. hehe. a lil. sick. cramps. darn. anyway, been studying alot. my brain's getting sore. ahahah. if thats even possible.
had dinner with bien and nikki the other night at Nok Thai. Great food. loved it. Dad was telling us loads of stories bout the olden days when he was young and adventurous. well, he isnt young now but he aint old but the same old adventure runs through him.
izzat made a funny video bout PMR. you guys can view it on his facebook profile. its hilarious. audio effects are awesome. ahahah.
still missing you and you dont even know.
haha. i did all these stupid quizzes in class and four came out lawyer and three came out doctor. my friends were all very consistent. always either teacher or artist or the others repeatedly again. i was once of those people who had several choices. aiks.
confused, crazy about you, stupidly studying
joyce
anyways, i've not been in school for two days. kinda miss it. hehe. a lil. sick. cramps. darn. anyway, been studying alot. my brain's getting sore. ahahah. if thats even possible.
had dinner with bien and nikki the other night at Nok Thai. Great food. loved it. Dad was telling us loads of stories bout the olden days when he was young and adventurous. well, he isnt young now but he aint old but the same old adventure runs through him.
izzat made a funny video bout PMR. you guys can view it on his facebook profile. its hilarious. audio effects are awesome. ahahah.
still missing you and you dont even know.
haha. i did all these stupid quizzes in class and four came out lawyer and three came out doctor. my friends were all very consistent. always either teacher or artist or the others repeatedly again. i was once of those people who had several choices. aiks.
confused, crazy about you, stupidly studying
joyce
Monday, June 1, 2009
my first two days of freedom trip
I woke up on friday 29th of May. My dad woke me up at around 8.30. got packing.
The only way to explain where i was going to you people is this. Sabah has two horns one called kudat and the other called pitas. i went to pitas. thats where my dad works. the ride is about four and a half hours.
i love going on road trips. you get to see how the terrain of the land changes from smooth roads of the city to slightly bumpy countryside to the holes and bumps of the jungle. i love the four wheel drive experieces i get with my dad. its awesome! haha! it should have been raining cause thats when the real fun starts but this time the land was dry as a bone!
so anyway, arrived there to find workers just staring at you and when you look at them they just stare back. way freaky. so then, me, my dad and sister share a room. and there was uncle tony and uncle ah leong. the three big bosses. or rather. the three musketeers. haha. you want the math equation? Two neat freaks and one crazy messy person. you get three good and mad scientist/cooks. haha!
we went for this boat ride which i was freaked out about. when you sit in the boat, and if you stick you hand out of the boat, the water is just inches away. i was like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! but my sister was like so cool about. i was like when did we switch roles?
the funniest part was half way against the current going out to sea, the boat man suddenly slowed down and my heart went from normal to racing again, the boat man said in malay: oi you hunter in front, you damn heavy la, you're sinking the boat!
I WAS LIKE OH SHIATSU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! both me and my sister were wide eyed and start giggling. and then we sent the hunters off to the jungle. and according to my dad, less than a minute after we dropped them. they shot a wild boar.that part will come later. so me and my sister tried to take a pic of the boat man but he kept looking away and due to that fact the boat also followed him and kept bending towards the wrong way. so we stopped to save ourselves. haha. we saw the most beautiful sights ever. i mean. i finally understand why my dad and uncle tony were so immensely in love with this place. the swamps are so beautiful. definitely picturesque. lush green trees, cool calm waters. was mesmerized.
the boat guy probably wasnt any older than i was. haha. but he's a pro man. his father is the village crab man. he's also my dad's personal boat man. haha. i guess being a boat man runs in their blood. he got us some crabs. i learnt how to kill em. hehe. there was this one crab who was HUGE? spreading his claws apart and their as big and long as my shoulders. i was like woah..... and he was mean. he crushed another crab's claw to pieces. pieces. and snapped it off while the poor guy was alive. and one crab was smart enough to jumpship while we were killig his friends. we had venison steak for dinner. we got the venison from kepala besi from kota marudu. his nick name is kepala besi or tit tau ahah. he's like the big brother of kota marudu. hehe. it was super nice.
at nine thirty or so, the wild boar they shot finally arrived. and my dad was like complaining why they took so long. it was cause they had to build a rakit to get it over. the boar was a size of a cow. okay. for those of you who have a fortuner or a frontier or any working car. the length of your car is the length of the boar. huge. and four workers were carrying it like they were carrying a car. even the car was slow because of the boar. haha.
so the next morning, we saw the boat race. two categories only for he harvest festival. 15cc small boats and 5cc small boats. i know these may seem like peas. but it was something different. i mean you bring a city kid, like a total city kid into the jungle and he'd probably wouldn't survive like us. my boat driver won and the names of their boats were so cool: there were spiderman, levi's, loudness, rising sun, bumblebee, primas, bmw, and so many more. and you know what i love about villagers and workers. they may not know you but they'll smile and talk to you. city people are so much more different thatn them. i really enjoyed the trip.
a few hours later, we packed and were ready to leave. and i felt a lil reluctant to leave. the place might be a bit old and rusty. but the place was simple, cosy and had one of those beautiful sights. one of the workers said i bet you've never experienced something like this? seeing a wild boar being roasted and shot right in front of you? i said no. and then he spoke the truth and said something i'll remember forever. sometimes being a city kid isnt fun, the kampung boys might not have fancy homes, cars and gadgets but they have fresh air, small boats and the raging sea to play with. nature is their playground. the guy might have been drunk but what he told me was evidently true. the nature was once everyone's playground but now only to a minority of people.
four and a half hours later, i arrived home. cleared my laundry. had some food and fell asleep. my bed never felt so good. i now cherish my endless supply of clean water to drink and wash from. i cherish my dad's cars. my mom's money. my family's talent.
the trip might have been only two days. but i think it definitely changed my perspective on life.
my dad said Leon my cousin would have had a kick outta this trip. i agreed. maybe we'll go back there with him before the camp closes one day.
nature within my palm,
joyce
The only way to explain where i was going to you people is this. Sabah has two horns one called kudat and the other called pitas. i went to pitas. thats where my dad works. the ride is about four and a half hours.
i love going on road trips. you get to see how the terrain of the land changes from smooth roads of the city to slightly bumpy countryside to the holes and bumps of the jungle. i love the four wheel drive experieces i get with my dad. its awesome! haha! it should have been raining cause thats when the real fun starts but this time the land was dry as a bone!
so anyway, arrived there to find workers just staring at you and when you look at them they just stare back. way freaky. so then, me, my dad and sister share a room. and there was uncle tony and uncle ah leong. the three big bosses. or rather. the three musketeers. haha. you want the math equation? Two neat freaks and one crazy messy person. you get three good and mad scientist/cooks. haha!
we went for this boat ride which i was freaked out about. when you sit in the boat, and if you stick you hand out of the boat, the water is just inches away. i was like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! but my sister was like so cool about. i was like when did we switch roles?
the funniest part was half way against the current going out to sea, the boat man suddenly slowed down and my heart went from normal to racing again, the boat man said in malay: oi you hunter in front, you damn heavy la, you're sinking the boat!
I WAS LIKE OH SHIATSU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! both me and my sister were wide eyed and start giggling. and then we sent the hunters off to the jungle. and according to my dad, less than a minute after we dropped them. they shot a wild boar.that part will come later. so me and my sister tried to take a pic of the boat man but he kept looking away and due to that fact the boat also followed him and kept bending towards the wrong way. so we stopped to save ourselves. haha. we saw the most beautiful sights ever. i mean. i finally understand why my dad and uncle tony were so immensely in love with this place. the swamps are so beautiful. definitely picturesque. lush green trees, cool calm waters. was mesmerized.
the boat guy probably wasnt any older than i was. haha. but he's a pro man. his father is the village crab man. he's also my dad's personal boat man. haha. i guess being a boat man runs in their blood. he got us some crabs. i learnt how to kill em. hehe. there was this one crab who was HUGE? spreading his claws apart and their as big and long as my shoulders. i was like woah..... and he was mean. he crushed another crab's claw to pieces. pieces. and snapped it off while the poor guy was alive. and one crab was smart enough to jumpship while we were killig his friends. we had venison steak for dinner. we got the venison from kepala besi from kota marudu. his nick name is kepala besi or tit tau ahah. he's like the big brother of kota marudu. hehe. it was super nice.
at nine thirty or so, the wild boar they shot finally arrived. and my dad was like complaining why they took so long. it was cause they had to build a rakit to get it over. the boar was a size of a cow. okay. for those of you who have a fortuner or a frontier or any working car. the length of your car is the length of the boar. huge. and four workers were carrying it like they were carrying a car. even the car was slow because of the boar. haha.
so the next morning, we saw the boat race. two categories only for he harvest festival. 15cc small boats and 5cc small boats. i know these may seem like peas. but it was something different. i mean you bring a city kid, like a total city kid into the jungle and he'd probably wouldn't survive like us. my boat driver won and the names of their boats were so cool: there were spiderman, levi's, loudness, rising sun, bumblebee, primas, bmw, and so many more. and you know what i love about villagers and workers. they may not know you but they'll smile and talk to you. city people are so much more different thatn them. i really enjoyed the trip.
a few hours later, we packed and were ready to leave. and i felt a lil reluctant to leave. the place might be a bit old and rusty. but the place was simple, cosy and had one of those beautiful sights. one of the workers said i bet you've never experienced something like this? seeing a wild boar being roasted and shot right in front of you? i said no. and then he spoke the truth and said something i'll remember forever. sometimes being a city kid isnt fun, the kampung boys might not have fancy homes, cars and gadgets but they have fresh air, small boats and the raging sea to play with. nature is their playground. the guy might have been drunk but what he told me was evidently true. the nature was once everyone's playground but now only to a minority of people.
four and a half hours later, i arrived home. cleared my laundry. had some food and fell asleep. my bed never felt so good. i now cherish my endless supply of clean water to drink and wash from. i cherish my dad's cars. my mom's money. my family's talent.
the trip might have been only two days. but i think it definitely changed my perspective on life.
my dad said Leon my cousin would have had a kick outta this trip. i agreed. maybe we'll go back there with him before the camp closes one day.
nature within my palm,
joyce
Sunday, May 10, 2009
sun, sand and tan.
guess where i went right after my exam?
i went to Karambunai!!! ahahahahahhahhaha!
i was like a prisoner escaping the jail but the advantage of having no warden running behind me!!!!!
i went to karambunai. and the moment i arrived my first thought or should i say, sight? was the lovingly lovely and oh so beautiful sea........
i know you guys always read about the sandy white beaches, but it was really sandy white! hahaha! i sound like those sakai tourist i know. but a holiday away from home was something i was in dire need of.
we had tea with clement lo. my sister mandy's bestie. he's pretty cool. couldn't really recognize him at first cause he totally changed. he was wearing a crisp white shirt with black pants and shoes. very formal. he just finish class. no wonder. i remember him in jeans and some weird top most of the time. ahha. i thought he was one of the waiters! hahahahahah! he likes to speak cantonese now. weird. hmm. anyway, he bought us lunch/tea which was pretty cool. i think this time he changed my perspective on him. he's a pretty cool guy, friendly, smart, presentable, efficient, and above all nice to my sister. not bad. not too shabby. haha.
the second day, i woke up at like 5.30 and went for a short walk. checked out whether anyone else in the resort was up. turns out i scared the workers cause they thought they were working late. ahhaha. so i went back to the room, tried to sleep but couldnt. so i just lay there in my thoughts amidst the synchronized snoring from my sister and my mom. geez. were they really that tired? i mean how tiring can driving be? from kk to sepanggar bay? hello? 20 minutes? that tiring huh? hmm. really terrible la my sister. acted as if she drove from china all the way to arab. anyway... so i went on a short walk by myself. took some pics but deleted them. bad lighting, shakey hands. its funny how when you're by yourself and all you have is your thoughts and its as if their outloud. well, my thoughts were mostly about him so they were good thoughts. i hope. then i had breakfast which was really good. some greens, bread and this awesome omelette. haha. the funniest was when i saw the batter. it was this huge bowl of egg. like huge la! and i asked her how many eggs were in it? she answered six trays and i went huh? she said there are 36eggs per tray i was like oh. then i was like wow! 36 x 5 is like 180 eggs. and she uses two bowls. thats 360 eggs per morning. now, thats alot of eggs.
i went swimming with my sisters. i would have preferably done it with my friends. both my sisters were like all graceful and 'tired' and just wanted to sit there and chat. thats what they call 'swimming'. i was like WHAT????? but fine, we all wanted a tan anyway. so now when you see me, i might look a bit tan. just a bit. not too obvious i hope. hahah. my dad came on the second day too. we took a ton of pics. the sunset was beautiful. the shades of pink, red, blue, orange, purple and streaks of white were amazing.
just goes to show how wonderful and insightful our lord is.
at night, we played monopoly. and the first time ever. i didnt die first. i didnt lose first. i came out second. i was in a tad bit of a shock whne mandy lost. she was holding so much money but i guess sometimes she is a bit too confident.
went kayaking too. tide was slightly choppy but it was cool to go against the tide. loved it. challenging but really fun.
wanted to go horseback riding but kept postponing. haha. in the end, i didnt get to. so, the third was the most fun i think. we swam in the morning and played chicken. so awesome la my dad. ahahha. all he did was push my sister with one finger and both of us fell. ahhahahaha. unstable la this chicken. ahhahahahahha.
i loved this trip. it might not be the best trip ever. but it was fairly interesting.
loving what loves me,
joyce
i went to Karambunai!!! ahahahahahhahhaha!
i was like a prisoner escaping the jail but the advantage of having no warden running behind me!!!!!
i went to karambunai. and the moment i arrived my first thought or should i say, sight? was the lovingly lovely and oh so beautiful sea........
i know you guys always read about the sandy white beaches, but it was really sandy white! hahaha! i sound like those sakai tourist i know. but a holiday away from home was something i was in dire need of.
we had tea with clement lo. my sister mandy's bestie. he's pretty cool. couldn't really recognize him at first cause he totally changed. he was wearing a crisp white shirt with black pants and shoes. very formal. he just finish class. no wonder. i remember him in jeans and some weird top most of the time. ahha. i thought he was one of the waiters! hahahahahah! he likes to speak cantonese now. weird. hmm. anyway, he bought us lunch/tea which was pretty cool. i think this time he changed my perspective on him. he's a pretty cool guy, friendly, smart, presentable, efficient, and above all nice to my sister. not bad. not too shabby. haha.
the second day, i woke up at like 5.30 and went for a short walk. checked out whether anyone else in the resort was up. turns out i scared the workers cause they thought they were working late. ahhaha. so i went back to the room, tried to sleep but couldnt. so i just lay there in my thoughts amidst the synchronized snoring from my sister and my mom. geez. were they really that tired? i mean how tiring can driving be? from kk to sepanggar bay? hello? 20 minutes? that tiring huh? hmm. really terrible la my sister. acted as if she drove from china all the way to arab. anyway... so i went on a short walk by myself. took some pics but deleted them. bad lighting, shakey hands. its funny how when you're by yourself and all you have is your thoughts and its as if their outloud. well, my thoughts were mostly about him so they were good thoughts. i hope. then i had breakfast which was really good. some greens, bread and this awesome omelette. haha. the funniest was when i saw the batter. it was this huge bowl of egg. like huge la! and i asked her how many eggs were in it? she answered six trays and i went huh? she said there are 36eggs per tray i was like oh. then i was like wow! 36 x 5 is like 180 eggs. and she uses two bowls. thats 360 eggs per morning. now, thats alot of eggs.
i went swimming with my sisters. i would have preferably done it with my friends. both my sisters were like all graceful and 'tired' and just wanted to sit there and chat. thats what they call 'swimming'. i was like WHAT????? but fine, we all wanted a tan anyway. so now when you see me, i might look a bit tan. just a bit. not too obvious i hope. hahah. my dad came on the second day too. we took a ton of pics. the sunset was beautiful. the shades of pink, red, blue, orange, purple and streaks of white were amazing.
just goes to show how wonderful and insightful our lord is.
at night, we played monopoly. and the first time ever. i didnt die first. i didnt lose first. i came out second. i was in a tad bit of a shock whne mandy lost. she was holding so much money but i guess sometimes she is a bit too confident.
went kayaking too. tide was slightly choppy but it was cool to go against the tide. loved it. challenging but really fun.
wanted to go horseback riding but kept postponing. haha. in the end, i didnt get to. so, the third was the most fun i think. we swam in the morning and played chicken. so awesome la my dad. ahahha. all he did was push my sister with one finger and both of us fell. ahhahahaha. unstable la this chicken. ahhahahahahha.
i loved this trip. it might not be the best trip ever. but it was fairly interesting.
loving what loves me,
joyce
Thursday, February 19, 2009
OH NO~!!!!! I'M SICK~~~~~
The last time i went to the doctors was two years ago. I had a fever then. Now. I have a fever and a upper respiratory tract infection. It all started with a small lil sore throat and then became a wheezing cough and then a total bonfire of a fever. I wasn't the only with it. My friends had it too. My teachers were actually telling us to go home because we had it. They were blaming the weather. they were really cute about it though! hah!
I had the cough on monday and then tuesday i had it a lil worse with a slight fever. Wednesday was when i couldn't take it anymore. I was in class and i couldnt think straight. I had to distract myself to not fall asleep and get sent home. but not even my friends were buying my oh so famous line of I AM OK LA! hehe. i was picked up by ce char to go hoome to my comforting and warm bed. but before i could get forty winks to get better my mom whisked me off to where i got my first injection to get some medical consultation and some meds. The doctor was telling us it was due to the weather and its constant change from sunny to windy to rain and then sunny again that was affecting all of us. even the doc was a lil down with the cough! haha!
I took the advantage of the time home to finish up all the undone homework. like the history notes i've been procrastinating and the math i've been avoiding! haha!
Now, all i want is to be better and not have porridge everyday!!!
a lil eccentric i know,
joyce
I had the cough on monday and then tuesday i had it a lil worse with a slight fever. Wednesday was when i couldn't take it anymore. I was in class and i couldnt think straight. I had to distract myself to not fall asleep and get sent home. but not even my friends were buying my oh so famous line of I AM OK LA! hehe. i was picked up by ce char to go hoome to my comforting and warm bed. but before i could get forty winks to get better my mom whisked me off to where i got my first injection to get some medical consultation and some meds. The doctor was telling us it was due to the weather and its constant change from sunny to windy to rain and then sunny again that was affecting all of us. even the doc was a lil down with the cough! haha!
I took the advantage of the time home to finish up all the undone homework. like the history notes i've been procrastinating and the math i've been avoiding! haha!
Now, all i want is to be better and not have porridge everyday!!!
a lil eccentric i know,
joyce
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
dont question me... me and my actions...
i havent known you for long...
i havent known about you that much...
i met you and you quickly became my friend...
yeah we have common interest...
but...
are we rushing into this?
its like we're just rushing into this head first...
i admit.. i like you...
but...
i still have my moments.. my doubts...
what do i do?
i have no idea whether you're just playing with my mind or
do you really feel that way?
you end every sentence with a smile or a LOL...
its either i just did something good for myself or
i did something utterly stupid...
i cannot resist asking this..
can we make it through the year?
can we even make it?
can we both still like each other throughout the whole PMR year?
or is this just childs play?
or is this just a game you love to play?
confused excited doubtful.
i'm not saying no.
but why am i scared to say yes?
totally utterly at loss,
joyce
i havent known about you that much...
i met you and you quickly became my friend...
yeah we have common interest...
but...
are we rushing into this?
its like we're just rushing into this head first...
i admit.. i like you...
but...
i still have my moments.. my doubts...
what do i do?
i have no idea whether you're just playing with my mind or
do you really feel that way?
you end every sentence with a smile or a LOL...
its either i just did something good for myself or
i did something utterly stupid...
i cannot resist asking this..
can we make it through the year?
can we even make it?
can we both still like each other throughout the whole PMR year?
or is this just childs play?
or is this just a game you love to play?
confused excited doubtful.
i'm not saying no.
but why am i scared to say yes?
totally utterly at loss,
joyce
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