Middle Mania...

I am caught in the middle....

This is no new experience....

Its been happening from the moment i was born......

I have sisters who fight and they come to me, as if i can pick between them!

I have parents who fight and as if i'll bother to choose!

I have friends who fight too!

THE TRUTH IS : CHOOSING BETWEEN THEM WILL HURT ONE OR THE OTHER AND IT HURTS THE ONE WHO CHOOSES AS WELL!

Can't you people see that when you ask the person to choose you're putting him/her on the plank to either death or torture!?

I hope you understand that me being the middle person is nerve wracking cause choosing and not choosing is also a problem!

sigh.....

thoughts and complaints,
Joyce

People say...

People say i am crazy....

People say i am a people pleaser...

People say i am generous....

People say i am smart....

People say i am fat...

People say i am tall....

People say i am too nice...

People say i give in to others too much...

People say i am a push over...

People say i am a leader...

People say I am a cina sesat due to the fact i don't like chinese...

People say i don't look like my sisters...

People say i am spoilt...

Sometimes people say stupid things... Sometimes even false accusations about me and my personality... I am a leader, it is in my blood that i like to lead.... I am a bit of a cina sesat... I don't look like my sisters... I am slightly crazy... I am generous when i have extra cash to give.... i am a people pleaser, why make them angry for a lil thing?.... I am smart when all the other people are stupid... I am tall when others are short.... I am fat when others are thin...

BUT I WANT TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CLEAR!

I AM NOT A PUSH OVER!

I AM NOT SPOILT!

AND NO ONE IS EVER TOO NICE!!!!!

I am who I am and no one else.

Don't judge me. or I'll judge you. and the outcome isn't pretty.

thoughts and rants,
Joyce

this is what happens when I'm bored and I start to think about previous comments about me.

I HATE AIRASIA!!!!!!!

AirAsia SUCKS!!!!! ITS TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE! STUPID!!!!!

My flight was five pm and i was supposed to arrive in kk at 7.30pm so as precaution ce mandy and i got onto the bus at 3 and arrived at LCCT at 4! the moment i arrived, my phone vibrated, incoming message, from who?? AIRASIA! it said my flight has been rescheduled to 9.50pm!

Now what am i supposed to do for four hours???????

Ce mandy bought me a book: Cecelia Ahern. Title: If You Could See Me Now.

Its nice....

I bought a cup of mocha from coffee bean and sat and read....... two hours later... ce had to go back so i checked in and waited in the boarding hall....

I bought myself a mcd set but that lasted a hour only...

I met this lady... a nice lady... businesswoman.... she was on the same flight as me....
So together we grumbled and complained... laughed and sighed.....

then at last! Madeline said she was in the terminal! Her flight was delayed as well! Haha! Same time different plane!

We met back in kk as well! well, it did fly off at the same time! Haha!

Anyway, I know i'll be sitting on airasia sooner or later anyway but just to let you guys know!

AIRASIA SUCKS!

Thoughts and rants,
Joyce

Crazy happenings in KL!

I thought I would be the only person to visit my grandparents during the holiday! Gosh, I am slightly naive!

The moment I arrive I'm picked up by this beautiful S class Mercedes Benz courtesy of Aunty Emei and Uncle Bryan!
Anyway, I got in and the driver said that we would pick up Uncle Bryan at the other airport, ok then! We went home to Uncle Bryan's place and got Ju-Hann to dinner! Apparently, Ju-Hann drives! Haha! He drives slightly like Charlotte! A lil speedy and very last minute! Not that its bad!

I'm staying at my grandparents place! Its a cozy house in Damansara! Near Victoria Station Steakhouse! It looks small but its not! It has three Queen sized beds and two double decker beds! It has Five rooms so you do the splitting la~!

I love KL! The malls, the diversity, the community, the cultures, the traditions, the harmony!

As they always say, ONLY IN MALAYSIA! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I guess we really have to lucky and grateful to be able to stay in this place!

We don't have much disasters, we don't have war, and yes, occasionally, the drama hangs around and politics make people go dodo but other than egos and divas the rest is great!

The crazy thing is My aunts from Singapore and Canada came down to visit! They are really candles that light up the hall! They can crack you up like a clown! I love them! hehe!

I guess that all for now!

Thoughts and Rants,
Joyce

Kuala Lumpur

Kuala Lumpur is where I am! It is busy and alive and crazy!

This town is always moving! It is in constant motion! The roads are never empty!

To sleep at nine pm is too early! The night is still young! Haha! If you are a klite, you will understand that sleeping early is at least 10.30! And don't forget thats early!

My family sleeps at 12. Most of the time. My grandparents here are like that. Wake up at 8.30am and sleep at 12. thats their lifestyle. sounds so leisurely ain't it?

I love KL! Its easy on the eyes! The lights! The Life! The Land!

I hope I get to shop! I need some sneakers and jeans! And a new bag!

My friends always pour in on me when they find out I'm in kl!

Sighs.... The friends i have.... haha... but i'm like that too sometimes! hahaha!

Thoughts and rants,
Joyce

Hey people....

Hey, I just wanted to tell you guys i won't be around from Wednesday to Monday!

I will try to post something in KL but most probably not. Will miss you guys!

Haha,
Joyce

i'm having a fit... a tantrum....

Have you ever written a song which sounds totally good then someone hears it and says thats not acceptable and then walks away...

Have you ever gave a speech and then someone says you are talking nonsense and walks away....

Have you ever danced like you've never danced before but the judge went: foul! and you were disqualified...

We all know the feeling some time... some where... some how.....

When its so close to your heart and you've finally got the courage to stand up and shout!.......

Someone stands up too but doesn't cheer for you!

Instead he shoots you down like a bird soaring in the sky and the hunter shoots it with accuracy....

Thats how i felt....

You know who you are...

I don't know how you did it...

But from now on you won't have my trust....


fumes,
Joyce

I love my music.... and my holidays!

I have a week of holiday! Meaning no more school for one week! Its enough for me! All i have in mind is my mp3 filled with the songs that i can totally rock out and sleep in to! I have stuff to do but all i really want to do is use the comp, watch tv, listen to plenty of music and sleep into all those hours of sleep that i have been deprived of!

Haha,
Joyce

I had the shittiest day of my life!!!!!

14th Of August, Thursday, was probably the shittiest day i could ever have in my entire life... yet....

It started out like this:

Mom: Joyce, you better wake up! You're goin to be late! And ask your sister to send you to school...
Me : (groans/sighs) ok....
Sis: WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DO THIS TO US EVERYDAY?
( my sister sleeps with me now)...

I wake up and go down to the office and use the comp but before i could go online!

Dad : Let me use the comp! I need to check my mail..
Me : ok.... (reluctantly moves away)

I have a quick breakfast consisting of Milo and a 3 pieces Oreos and I'm done...
I look at my phone and it says low battery... I'm, like, wow, what a way to start the day...

I reach school and 8 people go: HI JOYCE!!!!!
Fakes a smile and walk over....
'Hi!' what you guys doing?'
' oh we practice song for contest later!'
in my mind, Wow, what bad english!!!
They start singing and my eardrums feel like cracking!
They are singing in such a high pitch one more syllable and glass will break!

I suggest they go lower but BITCHY EMILY SAYS: NO ITS GOOD THIS WAY!
Of course its good, its so good that its so obvious that you are going to lose!!!!
I have to conduct a bunch of MONKEYS INTO TALKING LIKE HUMAN BEINGS!!
but i thank God let us have second place in the choral speaking competition!

Later that day, i went for the science quiz my science teacher put me in!
It was tough stuff yo!!!
well, not really la~ but i couldn't figure out a few...
Akmal and Mahathir from 2AM1 are total freaks! They finished in like 4 1/2 minutes!!!
Then, Melody and Terry from 2C1 finished!
I was in total competitive mode then!
I finished a minute after them!
I couldn't let anyone else overtake me then!
Sudamma my class partner was like: I don't understand how you think that fast!
Then i realized that i had finished the whole quiz without him answering one!
hahaahah!

Then we had Chinese class! As usual routine, Puan Yap will start the class with her lectures!
Her words are: YOU ARE STUPID! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A STUDENT GOING AGAINST A RULE SET BY TEACHERS WHO TEACH! WE ARE TEACHING YOU! TRYING TO SET YOU RIGHT! YOU ARE STUPID! I HAVE TAUGHT FOR TEN YEARS AND YOU ARE THE WORST CLASS EVER! AND YOU ARE THE FIRST CLASS THAT I HAVE EVER HATED GOING INTO!

I agree that sometimes she is right but wasting your time yelling at us how stupid we are isn't going to make us any smarter!!

After that tension filled class, i walked out and sat with Chao Sheng, Bui Hin, Edmund, Lia, Mich, Wen Yiing, Jan and MichM, then all of a sudden!

BuiHin: Whats that on your collar?
Me: huh??
Chao Sheng: Is that bird shit?
Me: WHAT??!!!
Wen Yiing: hahahahahahah! dont move la~!
Chao Sheng: (Wipes it slightly with his tissue)
BuiHin: I think you're making it worse...
WenYiing: yeah.. stop....
Chao Sheng: (throws tissue into the bush) Hehe...
Me: Could this day get any worse?
Everybody: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

My sister came to pick me and said: we have to go change my car with dad and buy food from damai.
In my mind, i so hope the shit isn't obvious...
Sis: whats that on your collar?
Me: you really wanna know?
Sis: erm... i guess..
Me: Its bird shit...
Sis: hahahhahahahhahhaha!
Me: please drive now...

So we went to get food and we changed the car...

I looked at the time and went am I missing something?

Clock display time: 7.30pm 14th August Thursday

THURSDAY?!!!!!

As usual, i was the last one to arrive at tuition again!

I sat down and started my math work..
Cammy: wanna have pizza?
Me and Clair: Sure!
WenYiing: Can oso...
Nickly: Bolehla...
Cikgu Lim: Just not too much ar!

Cammy ordered Pepperoni Pizza
We ate and then there were the weird jokes and loud laughters!
Fun as always!
There was one last piece and Cikgu Lim went: I'll cut it up and everyone have one!
It was so funny!
As if he was doing a operation! hahahaha!


The Money for the pizza! haha!

Cikgu Lim doing Operation Pizza! And that Clair Tay and Cammy!

Operation In Progress!

The Operation results! hahaha!

Although the day started out rough and really tiring!
At the end, It was a great day!
I realized that i have a great string of friends that are reliable and true!
I have all my limbs!
I have a roof over my head!
I have food to eat!
I have friends and family who care about me!
I am thankful to have all these things!
I may complain and whine but all in all I am grateful!

haha,
Joyce

hypocrites... self absorbed... my heart...

I don't like people who are hypocrites! I am one but i don't shoved it in your face like someone i know! They claim they're not racist but they probably are the worst of racist people!

Self absorbed people! I pity them! They are so hungry for perfection of themselves when they too blind to see that no one is perfect!

I am the person who speaks their mind but doesn't speak heart felt thoughts!

You may think i am speaking heart felt! I'm sorry to disappoint you but i wasn't!

For me to speak heart felt, i would have to be either drunk or about to die!

I rarely speak heart felt.. to those whom i consider best friends or sisters or brothers..

you guys have yet to see my heart..

you may know my secrets but you don't know my heart.....

sorry...

thoughts,
Joyce

Ever had a...

Have you ever had a friend whom you've so close with but recently started hating?

If you can answer that truthfully, and your answer is yes, then welcome aboard my ship!

Its not that kinda hate where you just see them and feel angry its that kinda hate where you see them and say where did the person i became friends with go?

I'm not saying their names because i believe that people change and it may be for the better or for worse but in the end its still a change.

I didn't start hating them until the little things that you always don't mind become something that you can't NOT mind! The little things that tick others but not you and me.

If friendship was like chocolate, then it would be called bittersweet!

It is bittersweet... at first taste all is sweet, smooth, creamy, once swallowed you taste the bitterness not a lot but the taste is there to be savored...

I am not complaining but i am stating my opinion... a comment on how i feel...

but for all you know... the change is not them.... but me.... who knows rite?...

thoughts,
Joyce

the after thoughts of reading...

I read Michelle's latest entry into her blog....
being a self centered person...
well it is true that we are all self centered....
sometimes being a self centered person has its perks and downfalls....
being a self centered person can take you to the top some times....
being self centered may also drive your friends away...
we all know some one thats self centered and if you don't....
well, surprise! it might be you...
being expressive with the way you feel and telling your opinions is fine..
sometimes it can really annoy ones patience...
and if you start talking about all day...
thats a real pain in the arse...
i know telling him/her off might be the only way...
but is there a better way without conflict and drama?
a way that all is at peace and the point is proven?

Sometimes when we express how we really feel can hurt a person to the point of tears...
to a point where the friendship is unstable...
the friendship might be burnt...
but if its all you want to do...
will you do it in the end?
will you take the leap of faith?

I once told a friend off on her self centeredness..
she and i haven't spoken since...
we have said our hi's and how are you?....
but we no longer share heart felt conversations we once had...

To tell a person that they are self centered might be a bit crude...
some happily acknowledge the fact they are..
but once they have...
do they change?
there is a Chinese phrase it goes:
to move a mountain is easier than changing a person....
I hate chinese lessons...
thinking about makes me stressed, angry...
but these lessons change my perspective on life...
how we think and how our actions actually affects all around us...
i never knew that telling a white lie..
even one that may save a loved one from hurt can eat you up inside...
fake smiles and quick yet smart remarks...
it really does affect ones mind and then the ones around you...

Self centeredness is a label...
a habit...
a act...
it is one that is common...
mostly found among women...
ladies...
girls....
why you ask?
it is because appearance is important..
how we dressed..
how we look..
how we talk...
how fat you are..
how thin you are...
it is important...
it is a part of daily life to be thinner than just thin..

Self centeredness is not a attractive part of a person..
it is often rejected by the opposite sex...
but what can you really do to help yourself or even one that you know has it?

thoughts and rants,
Joyce