you know what?

i was flipping through all my older post like the ones i first started typing.

i realized. I've changed. and. some parts are for the better. but some parts. I'm not so fond of.

i say and do things differently. i care about things that i shouldn't care about. at all. I've started depending on other people's help. i didn't need the help but i caved in anyway so that i get to laze around. I used to go headstrong into problems and fix them now i just let them ease at my discomfort and just leave it all hanging.

whats happening?

i know some things have changed for the better. I've started caring for the people around me. even the one's that i don't know too well. i care about how what i say might affect them. and if i say something i shouldn't have i try as fast as possible to fix it. I've started saving. which is good. i think. hehe. I've started to study. everyday. about two hours. I use the comp less. watch tv less. not the couch potato. unless its the hols. thats an exception. hehe. i know i'm less of the mean person i used to be. i'm starting to let things that used to irritate me slip. just slip under the rug. and then away and forgotten.

i'm trying. really hard. to change for the better.

but is it working?

i feel lost and found.
joyce